Boston Bruins star Tyler Seguin had a pretty good lockout run with HC Biel of the Swiss National League, even if he couldn’t keep that goal-per-game pace he was on. Seguin finished with 25 goals in 29 games, with 15 helpers. He added a goal and an assist for Team Canada in the (Egon) Spengler Cup.
Here are … well, all of them (many of which co-star Swiss hockey buddy and Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane):
• At the 2:35 mark: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!”
• At the 3:29 mark: We see no reason why Seguin shouldn’t be allowed to wear a flaming hockey god helmet and matching “top scorer” jersey in the NHL.
• At the 5:15 mark: R.I.P. water bottle.
• At the 5:44 mark: Apropos of nothing, but we sorta wish Marty Brodeur had decided to play overseas during the lockout for out sake; a.k.a. so we could publish an image in which he wears McDonalds logos on his chest, thus reaching the summit of Marty Is Fat jokes.
• Finally … yeah, sure, Tyler Seguin hoisted the Stanley Cup as an NHL rookie. But a hockey player isn’t really a champion until he plays in an international tournament no one cares about and kisses a giant egg whisk.
Mazel Tov, Ty Ty. Oh, and if you haven't read it, this super creepy tribute to Seguin from an HC Biel beat writer needs to be read to be believed.