You wouldn't think that a strapping young lad like Mark Sanchez would need to turn to Twitter late at night to find a Valentine. That's what he was doing late Tuesday night, though ‒ trying to woo a handsome young buck named Santonio with shortbread cookies.
Ah, it almost brings a tear to the eye, thinking about happier times between Sanchez and Santonio Holmes. Toward the end of the Jets season, there was reportedly friction between Holmes and Sanchez ‒ between Holmes and everyone, according to LaDainian Tomlinson. Holmes wasn't getting the ball, he wasn't happy about it, he complained in the huddle, and was eventually benched.
Has the relationship between Holmes and Sanchez already been mended? Can it be mended with shortbread cookies and a tweet? Should Sanchez have sprung for chocolates, flowers, or Pizza Hut's $10,010 Valentine's Day package? There are some things Rex Ryan just can't teach you. Unless, of course, Santonio is into feet.
As for a response, there is none yet. Holmes hasn't posted anything on Twitter since Feb. 9. But Sanchez might not be waiting for him.
The other rumor out there is that Sanchez is dating Kate Upton, who, from what I understand, is very pretty. TMZ asked her about it Tuesday, but she wouldn't give much of an answer. She ended up telling the interviewer, "It's whatever you think," and if that's true, then I hope that guy is thinking that she's pining for me.
Don't be greedy, Sanchez. You go work things out with Santonio, because you two belong together. Get back on Twitter and write him poems until his heart melts. Then you two go out and eat some chicken, because this is real.
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- Mark Sanchez