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Shaving a picture of Matt Bonner in his head could net a young Spurs fan an in-school suspension

Kelly Dwyer
Ball Don't Lie

A young San Antonio Spurs fan faces an in-school suspension on Thursday if he doesn't somehow find a way to alter the image of Matt Bonner that was shaved into the back of his head. You read the previous sentence correctly. The Spurs forward, who is averaging just 14.6 minutes per game in the postseason, has apparently made such an impact on Woodlake Hills Middle School student Patrick Gonzalez that the youngster decided to have a hairstylist shave an image of the Spurs sharpshooter into the back of his haircut. Via Tas Melas, here's the image that has the principals at Woodlake Hills Middle School in righteous fear of the apparently inevitable anarchy and lawlessness in the school halls that will result if Gonzalez comes to school on Thursday without changing the haircut:

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The offending haircut (Courtesy twitter.com/Grace__White)

Because the image is so threatening, and so severe, if the style isn't "fixed" by Thursday, Gonzalez will have to take in an in-school suspension (the worst of all suspensions, because you don't get to go home and watch TV), because that seems very rational and fair to all the children. Here's the story, from Grace White at FOX 29:

"There was no permission that was given if the parent thought that then it was a miscommunication," said Aubrey Chancellor, Judson I.S.D. District officials say the haircut is a distraction. "Whether it's the spurs or whether it's the cowboys anything people obviously support, it doesn't matter."

You hear that, Texas schoolchildren? Whether you support spurs or cowboys or even Spurs or Cowboys (two teams that obviously play against each other several times a year for the World Finals of Stanley Bowls), shaving a rather benign image of a fan friendly forward that wears New Balance sneakers during pro basketball games seems like the least offensive infraction we can possibly imagine.

Especially when the hero in question was an Academic All-American at college, one who "never received less than an 'A' as final grade in any class throughout his academic career, until he received a 'C' on a chemistry exam in college, which led to a final grade of a 'B.'"

(No word on if Bonner's "C" and "B" marks were unduly influenced by a classmate featuring an image of Sam Perkins shaved into his head.)

We don't know the entirety of this story, or Gonzalez's history. Perhaps he was caught selling 3-pointers in the parking lot outside of the school last month. Maybe he was previously suspended for telling a teacher to "square your feet" and "get your elbow under the chalk" as she attempted to teach her class. It's possible that he served a detention earlier in the year for drawing a 3-point arc on the inside of a textbook.

Still, unless this youngster has some history that led to a reaction like this, the threat of a suspension for an innocuous haircut like this can only be termed an "overreaction."

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