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Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C Past Lives: Two Brians perform the greatest interpretive dance in NBA history

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Gotta get back in time ... Welcome to another edition of Create-a-Caption Past Lives. Don't remember what they are? Then go re-read the maiden voyage for a refresher, ya goof!

Obviously, you're intimately familiar with interpretive dance as an art form. You know that it encompasses a wide variety of rhythmic styles and aims to translate specific human feelings, emotions, situations or fantasies through physical movement and dramatic expression. I mean, duh — you read basketball blogs.

What you might not know, though, is that on Dec. 31, 2003, moments before the dawn of a new year, Brian Scalabrine and Brian Cardinal came together and gave of their souls. They danced like no one was watching — and considering it was a New Year's Eve game between the New Jersey Nets and Golden State Warriors, it's possible that no one was.

They told the story of a great love lost, or perhaps of a wise and ancient king overseeing his great land for the final time before dying, or maybe of the first time The Fly Girls took the "In Living Color" stage. I'm not really sure; I'm not very good at interpreting dance. The point is, it was important.

It was moving. It was art. And its occurrence posed no danger to the outcome of the game, as none of the other eight players on the court even considered passing the ball to either Scalabrine or Cardinal.

Best caption wins lavish costumes, ribbons and spandex body suits to enhance their own interpretive dance storytelling efforts. Good luck.

In our last adventure: You know a photo of Shaquille O'Neal is good when it gives you two Filter songs as legitimate caption options. I'm going to go with, "Hey, man, nice shot," but that's mostly because I liked "The Spanish X-Files" when I was a kid.

{YSP:MORE}

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Winner, JakeVozquel: Shaq was very disappointed seconds later when he realized it wasn't a View Master.

Runner-up, D4tified: "I gotta be better at shooting pictures than shooting free throws."

NOTE: Based on his career numbers from the stripe, this is a pretty accurate zing, but as Shaq has said many times, "I make the pictures when they count." Not that we'd expect anything less from a "master of surveillance."

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