Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C: ‘I mean, I can totally call around — really, I’d be happy to’

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol of the Los Angeles Lakers. (Getty Images)

"No, you know what, Pau? Don't even bother. If it didn't matter enough to you to make a New Year's Eve reservation before now, I don't want you to pretend that it matters to you now. It's fine. I'm fine. It's. Fine."

Oof. Tough break, Pau Gasol.

I get it, though; the holidays are stressful as heck! You spend so much time trying to wrap up work before the holiday break, running around buying presents and making sure you remembered to get the right egg nog — no, not that one, the OTHER one — that New Year's plans just slip your mind. Kobe Bryant gets that. Really, he does.

It's just that ... it slips your mind every year, you know? It'd just be nice if you remembered. That's all Kobe's saying. Give him a little space, take him to that tapas place he loves, and everything'll be fine. And next year — seriously — put a reminder in your Outlook calendar or something.

Best caption wins delicious tapas, just in time for lunch. Good luck.

In our last adventure: DeMar DeRozan and Ed Davis crawl around on the ground or something? Boy, the world as it existed before I started writing 2011-12 Season Previews stuff seems like a strange, scary place.

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DeMar DeRozan and Ed Davis of the Toronto Raptors. (AP)

Winner, JD: DeMar and Ed are forced to result to desperate measures after trying to get back into the U.S. legally, only to have their entrance vetoed by David Stern.

Runner-up, Rodzor: "Simon says jump up and down ..."

"Simon says stick out your tongue ..."

"Lie on the floor ... GOT YA!"

Second runner-up, Boxster: "See, Eddie? Doing a pushup is almost impossible after only playing Xbox B-ball all year."

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