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Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C: Any advice being given here is almost certainly very shaky

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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You seem like a good egg, Eric Maynor. The Internet basketball writing/watching community loves you, and why wouldn't we? You've got a wonderful floor game, a great sense of pace and control that provides a perfect off-the-bench complement to the often frenetic play of starting Oklahoma City Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook. You look the part of a natural-born court general and decision-maker.

Which is why I don't much like what I'm seeing here. Nate Robinson is, well, not a natural-born court general and decision-maker. He's many things — some of which are great, some of which are not — but he's certainly not those two. If you get all of your information and analysis from postgame shows, like I do, you probably woke up today thinking he's one of the worst people in America. Seeing him drawing you in and dropping his brand of knowledge ... it's troubling, Eric. Concerning.

Just ask yourself: If your friends all decided to get slushie-wasted and jump off Whatever Bridge Is The Reference Point Bridge In Oklahoma, would you get slushie-wasted and jump, too? Think about it.

Best caption wins bad advice about writing. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Kevin Durant gives a weird shoutout to the Utah Jazz.

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Winner, Untitled: Now Kevin, if you're gonna scrunch up and concentrate so hard on being invisible, you can't complain when Russ doesn't pass you the ball.

Runner-up, JeremyO: "I dont know, Nate. You should probly get that checked out, man."

Second runner-up, Sleepy: After recently watching "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie," Kevin Durant attempts to grow a larger mustache.

NOTE: With all due respect to Spongebob, the best mustache-growing bit is the comedy troupe Stella's mustache-growing bit, to which I totally can't link due to an instance or two of blue language.

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