Welcome to From the Marbles' 2013 driver reviews. Here, we're going to critique, praise and bloviate about the top 30 drivers in the 2013 NASCAR season. First up, Dave Blaney.
Hi Dave, thanks for joining us today. Let's talk about your season, shall we?
First, let's focus on the positives. We really liked your effort at the restrictor plate tracks this spring. You finished 16th and 17th at Daytona and Talladega, which were your only top-20 finishes this season. We know you're working on a team in this office that doesn't have the resources that some other superiors have given their employees, but we appreciate you making the most of your chances when they fell in your lap.
Other than that, there's really not much to say. You're one of those guys who just went and did his job, kept the car in one piece and stayed out of people's way. We do wish you would have had an opportunity to at least give the kids a chance to eat free once -- much like you did at Daytona in 2012 -- but that went to J.J. Yeley. We understand why. He has nice hair.
Unfortunately, your direct supervisor, Tommy Baldwin, has made a decision to go with extra resources on his team. We're sorry to inform you of this decision, but right now we're not sure what the future holds for you in this company. Money from companies that bilk truckers out of rewards doesn't come around often, and money that may be slightly dirty still spends the same in NASCAR. We're not going to judge Baldwin as long as we receive Pilot's crappy coffee for free and continue to get our frequent fueler rewards.
Plus, we could also get free Browns tickets unless that all goes to hell. Yeah, it's the Browns, but we know who's king on fall Sundays. You'd understand if we took a few road trips, right?
And your son complicates matters. He has limitless potential, albeit working for a section of this wonderful company that has a lot of resources available to him, and he's got a bright future. Is there room for only one Blaney? No, but we're not sure if there's enough for two full-time Blaneys.
Thanks Dave, we'll keep you updated of all the future developments and you'll be the first to know of any decision for 2014. You would be willing to relocate to the Nationwide or Camping World Truck departments, right?
- - - - - - -
- Sports & Recreation
- Motor Racing
- Dave Blaney