How two funerals 16 years apart prepared QB Joe Milton to be Tennessee football leader
Joe Milton’s baby sister lay in a 12-inch casket as a lone pallbearer carried her to the front of the church.
Milton, long before he was Tennessee's quarterback, clenched his lips and held back as many tears as he could.
A 7-year-old shouldn’t have to bear such a burden. But he saw it as a responsibility.
Big brothers are strong. Big brothers care for their siblings before themselves.
“It was a moment where I had to keep everyone else up,” Milton told Knox News. “The more I stayed up, the more that my siblings saw that there was nothing to worry about – even though we just had a tragic loss.”
Miracle Milton, Joe’s little sister, had been born prematurely in Pahokee, Florida, in 2007. She lived three days in the newborn intensive care unit and died before Joe got to hold her.
“She wasn’t as big as my hand,” said Milton, stretching out his enormous right hand on the strongest throwing arm in college football. “And then me being 7 and seeing this little casket, I’m thinking, ‘What could possibly be in there?’ ”
Milton’s mother, DeShea Bouie, was destroyed by grief. Joe stepped forward in a manner beyond his age to comfort her and, at the time, a younger brother and sister.
He’d be called upon years later to support more siblings.
“I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and it was so hard to explain to my kids what had happened,” Bouie said. “But Joe was strong, always being the big brother.”
The funeral of his baby sister was a shocking scene that Milton internalized as best he could. But the burden of putting on a strong face while enduring that pain was too much for him to repeat.
So it would be 16 years before Milton would attend another funeral, and it came days after his MVP performance for the Vols in the Orange Bowl on Dec. 30, 2022.
How Milton handled death with selfless strength in those two instances informed his football journey. And it inspired his role as a big brother looking after the needs of his Tennessee teammates.
Milton, now as the starting quarterback, will lead the Vols against Virginia in the 2023 season opener on Saturday (11 a.m. CT/noon ET, ABC) at Nissan Stadium in Nashville. This role didn't come easily.
Orange Bowl was last game Joe Milton played for her
Milton was en route to his home state of Florida to play in the Orange Bowl in Miami when his beloved great-grandmother, Ruby Lee Bouie, called him.
Her health was failing, and she was put under hospice care.
But her spirits were lifted by the news that Joe would play the biggest game of his life only 80 miles from Pahokee, where she helped raise him.
Ruby Lee Bouie instilled Joe with a deep Christian faith and a love for her secret recipe of tilapia, grits and homemade buttermilk biscuits.
On gamedays, she would call Joe and pray with him over the phone before he headed to the stadium. It was a tradition she started when he played little league football the same year that he lost his baby sister.
Milton was inspired to play for his great-grandmother, knowing she watched every Tennessee game from her home while wearing a shirt emblazoned with his photo.
But when the Orange Bowl kicked off, she’d lost her sight and strength and been confined to her bed. Only her hearing remained, so family members turned up the volume on the broadcast.
“Whenever they would say ‘Joe Milton’ on the TV, she would raise her hand,” Joe’s mother said. “My son and his teammates showed out that day, and she knew they won.”
Milton passed for 251 yards and three touchdowns to lead the Vols to a 31-14 win over Clemson to cap the program’s best season in more than 20 years.
After transferring from Michigan to Tennessee, Milton had lost his starting quarterback position to Hendon Hooker early in the 2021 season. But Hooker’s knee injury late in the 2022 season gave Milton a second chance, and he seized it.
Milton won the MVP award and tossed oranges with Hooker, coach Josh Heupel and teammates amid the celebration. His comeback was complete, but it gave way to heartache.
Second funeral calls Joe Milton back home
Three days after the Orange Bowl, Ruby Lee Bouie died at 76. And Milton had a decision to make.
“Other people had passed over the years (since Miracle’s death in 2007),” Milton said. “I just never went to a funeral again.”
But on Jan. 14, Milton arrived at Greater New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Pahokee wearing a black suit and determined to serve his role.
Like his baby sister’s death 16 years earlier, Joe was needed as a shoulder to cry on.
Unlike that previous funeral, he was equipped to carry this burden. Now 6-foot-5, 235 pounds, Joe is a 23-year-old man and the oldest of seven children.
His youngest sister is 1-year-old Journey, nicknamed Juicy, who sees Joe as father figure as much as a big brother.
“When Juicy sees Joe, she runs to him. And he held her for me that day (of the funeral),” Joe’s mother said. “Joe was there to support me, to support his brothers and sisters, to stand by his family.
“It was so sad for all of us. But Joe takes care of me like he’s my daddy, like he always has. He’s an old soul.”
Joe Milton is long-distance parent for his siblings
Milton draws a direct line from those funerals to football because they embody his identity.
He’s a caretaker, a quarterback, a big brother.
“The more I stay up and stay composed, the more everyone else around me is going to rally behind that and not worry about anything,” Milton said. “That’s how I take that to the football side of things.
“Responsibility is a blessing if you’re willing to do something with it.”
While at Tennessee, Milton has grown into a long-distance parent to his siblings and a big brother to his teammates. The dual role monopolizes his time, but he loves it.
Each night, Joe sits in his apartment and plays video games online with 19-year-old brother Jo’Tavious and 17-year-old sister De’Aysha, who live with their mother in Orlando.
They ask Joe about football practice. And he asks them about school, their friends and any personal problems he can help solve. It usually reverts to innocent trash talking, but Joe strictly enforces their bed time.
On other nights, Joe studies football game film, and then helps 14-year-old sister Tra’Viona and 10-year-old brother T.J. with their math homework over FaceTime calls. And he often gives his siblings pep talks before school over the phone between morning practice and position meetings.
“Joe has kept me focused on school because he motivates me,” said Jo’Tavious, a high school senior. “He’s always on me to do the right thing. I’m really thankful for him because he’s filled a big role in my life.”
Hendon Hooker's little brother? Think again
Last season, Hooker and Milton were depicted as having a big brother-little brother relationship.
It made sense on the surface. Hooker was two years older. They were roommates and still remain close friends. Plus, coaches, teammates and even Hooker described their relationship in that way.
But that narrative never matched Milton’s mentality. He’s naturally a big brother, and he’s flourished this offseason as a sixth-year senior filling a mentor role to younger players.
“I may be the leader on the team, but I’m still going to serve every day,” Milton said. “I’m the oldest of seven. So I’ve been doing this my whole life.”
How Joe Milton took Nico Iamaleava under his wing
When five-star freshman quarterback Nico Iamaleava arrived at Tennessee in December, Milton saw his next responsibility. So he carved out time between practice, film study, school work and video games with his siblings to invite Iamaleava to his apartment.
One visit turned into several. And Iamaleava began stopping by after most practices with a list of football questions for Milton to answer.
“Now it’s like a big brother-little brother relationship with the two of them,” offensive coordinator/quarterbacks coach Joey Halzle said. “You rarely see Joe without Nico. Joe has been a great mentor for him.”
Milton bonded in the same way with his wide receivers to prepare for this season.
He rode jet skis with Squirrel White. He took Ramel Keyton with him to New York City on an NIL-funded trip. He developed a close friendship with Bru McCoy. And he invited Oregon transfer Dont’e Thornton to his apartment to learn the playbook.
“In this role, I sometimes feel old, but I’m only 23,” Milton said. “But to be a leader to them, I need to connect with them and understand them. And they need to understand me.”
Players love Milton’s humility and sincerity. Either as a backup or the starter, he hasn’t changed.
They also like his generosity. Last week, Milton gifted every player on the team Beats by Dre wireless headphones, valued at $350 each, as part of his NIL deal.
The gift included a note from Milton, which said, "Through thick and thin, we have each other's back. I ride for you because you're my brothers."
Milton said he’s enjoyed sharing parts of his personal life with his teammates, perhaps experiences like those two funerals. But he often does more listening than talking.
Sometimes that’s what big brothers do.
Adam Sparks is the Tennessee football beat reporter. Email adam.sparks@knoxnews.com. Twitter@AdamSparks. Support strong local journalism by subscribing at knoxnews.com/subscribe.
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This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: How two funerals prepared QB Joe Milton to lead Tennessee football
