How Toby Keith 'was all about OU and the Sooners' until his death from cancer

Toby Keith was there for former OU coach Bob Stoops in perhaps his last coaching hurrah.

Stoops and a few Sooners buddies were for sure going to be there for Keith in his return to a stage for the first time since his stomach cancer diagnosis.

They were among the sold-out crowd in a casino amphitheater on the Las Vegas Strip in December, cheering and singing along with Keith as he played all of his hits.

“It was great to see him doing something he loved so much,” said former Sooners basketball coach Lon Kruger, who was in attendance with Stoops and others. “And doing it so well. That crowd was loving him every second of the night so it was great to see him have that opportunity.”

It was ultimately Keith’s final performance.

Keith, known as “Big Dog Daddy,” by his fans and friends, died Monday night. He was 62. A lifetime Oklahoman, Keith is survived by his wife, Tricia, and their three children Krystal, Shelley and Stelen.

An OU sports fan throughout his life, Keith struck up friendships with players, coaches and administrators alike across most sports. When he wasn’t writing songs or touring the world, he frequented the sidelines of Gaylord Family - Oklahoma Memorial Stadium, sat courtside inside the Lloyd Noble Center and could often be seen catching a game at L. Dale Mitchell Park or Marita Hynes Field.

The OU contingent who watched his final shows in Vegas as well as the university’s community also grieved his death this week. OU President Joseph Harroz Jr., Sooners athletic director Joe Castiglione and head coach Brent Venables all released statements Tuesday mourning his death.

Timeline: A look at Toby Keith's storied life from Oklahoma oil fields to climbing charts

Despite his 20 No. 1 country singles and over 40 million albums sold, those who knew him best say Keith didn’t act like the celebrity he was. He lived a private life at his home on 160 acres in northeast Norman and when he decided to go out in public, he never turned down a fan for a photo or a chat.

“He was all about OU and the Sooners because that was his favorite hobby and he was as much a Sooner in his core, not a superficial Sooner,” Houston assistant coach and former OU basketball player Kellen Sampson told The Oklahoman.

“He was a Sooner from the tips of his hair to the bottom of his toes. If he wasn't Toby Keith, if he was somebody else, he would be the one in the nosebleeds screaming his heart out with his finger in the air yelling ‘Boomer Sooner’ like everybody else.”

Keith’s private plane was even painted crimson and cream.

Keith didn’t just tune in to games either. He showed up to practices and postgame festivities, including celebrating with OU softball after the team’s third consecutive national championship last summer.

Whether during NCAA Tournament runs, the 2000 BCS National Championship Game or WCWS, Keith was a constant presence at OU’s most significant moments.

He wanted to know about the new players and coaches not unlike diehards who flood team message boards. He deeply cared.

On Kruger’s first day in Norman after being hired in 2011, Keith stopped by his office. From the moment he stepped through the door, Kruger could see the fire Keith had for the program.

“You could tell how passionate he was about his Sooners,” said Kruger, who is now retired and living in Las Vegas, “and how genuine he was in his interest in doing anything he could to help in any way. Not just the athletes, but just people in general. Toby was a giver. He did so many things for others and impacted so many lives and in such a positive way. Just a good, good guy.”

Stoops and Matt McMillen, OU’s longtime former director of football operations, attended two of the three nights in Sin City along with Kruger and his wife, Barb. They reveled and reminisced in seeing their friend play 20-plus song sets, spanning his rowdiest classics as well as one of his poignant last singles “Don’t Let the Old Man In,” a song about a man nearing the end of his life.

Try to love on your wife

And stay close to your friends

Toast each sundown with wine

Don't let the old man in

Those are nights they’ll remember and a friend they’ll never forget.

“It was the best. He got through a, shoot, two- or three-hour set,” an emotional McMillen told The Oklahoman. “Three nights, sold out shows in Vegas. Bob and I were there for two of the shows and it was just outstanding. We got together with him afterwards and it was just like the good ol’ days.  … It took everything he had to get through it.

“But he sure the hell did it.”

‘Made everyone around him feel good’

While Keith grew close friendships with coaches, he had a deep affection for student-athletes.

Many of whom took to social media this week as well, thanking him and remembering his support during and after their careers. Sports were a significant part of Keith’s life at Moore High School before graduating in 1979. After going to work in the oil fields he played semi-pro football in the early 1980s for the Oklahoma City Drillers. He ultimately committed to music full-time.

Stoops and McMillen first got to know Keith when he sang the national anthem during the 2000 title game at the Orange Bowl in Miami Gardens, Florida. After OU defeated Florida State 13-2, Keith, McMillen and Stoops partied into the early morning forging a friendship that lasted for the next 24 years.

Their genuine bond worked so well because hardly anyone else in town could relate to the spotlight they lived in — from coaches to star players to 18- to 22-year-olds living out their dreams.

Being a big-time college athlete, playing in front of close to 90,000 fans every Saturday and having every move criticized isn’t easy. Whether Heisman winners or walk-ons, Keith saw part of his life in theirs. He wanted to be a resource for all student-athletes as part of his underlying care for the state and helping its people.

“There are so very, very few people in this world that can relate to superstars and I don't think Toby gravitated to the superstar necessarily because he was a fanboy,” said Sampson, who played for OU from 2004-07 for his father Kelvin and then Jeff Capel. “I think he recognized that, ‘I'm one of the very few people who can recognize the pressure, the focus, the spotlight, the isolation that a megastar for Oklahoma, regardless of the sport, goes through.’

“His words of encouragement or his words that he used for those particular athletes always resonated because he understood what it felt like to live your life in a spotlight and the pressure that comes with having to perform at a crazy high level every night. There are so few people in this world that can understand and process those feelings and emotions, and he could. The ability to connect on a superstar level always meant a lot to those guys.”

Keith also just loved sports.

Every Tuesdays and Thursdays during the summer when Sampson was coaching at OU, Keith organized a men’s basketball league at his house and invited friends and people from the community to play. For two straight summers, “Big Dog,” as Sampson calls him, stacked his 4-on-4 team with Kellen, former Sooners hooper Kevin Bookout and Rayford Young, father of NBA superstar Trae Young.

“We ran everybody in town,” Sampson said. “(It was) one of the coolest, most surreal moments.”

More: Oklahoma sports world reacts to passing of country music star, Sooners fan Toby Keith

‘A positive mindset’

Social media messages honoring Keith flooded various sites early Tuesday.

From die-hard fans, to friends and other country music artists, thousands paid their respects.

One message from former Sooners offensive lineman and offensive analyst Jon Cooper, who now coaches tight ends at Mississippi State, struck a more personal tone.

“One of the most selfless, caring, passionate men I’ve ever met,” Cooper wrote on X, the social media site formerly known as Twitter. “Did more for me in the lowest point in my life than he ever knew. Proud to call you a friend. RIP.”

As a country music fan, Cooper was aware of who Keith was when he arrived at OU as a freshman in 2005. In his second start that season against Texas Tech, Cooper broke his right ankle, ending his season.

Keith visited a spring practice the next year and struck up a conversation with Cooper, who was still rehabbing from the injury. The two bonded as Keith himself had once broken his ankle during a 1994 OU football alumni game.

"I'd do it again," Keith said in 1994. "I was in heaven standing there in Sooner Red."

“Going through that being an 18-year-old kid with a traumatic leg injury,” Cooper told The Oklahoman, “I wasn't sure if I was ever going to play football again at that point in my career. He was always just talking about keeping a positive mindset and the connections you make at a place like Oklahoma that even if I wasn't playing football, that things were looking up.

“And then every year it was always about how much better things have gotten. Looking back at when my leg was the way it was and being able to keep that positive mindset helps push you through those types of things.”

The two kept in touch throughout Cooper’s football career. He’d often return to Norman to train in the offseason and stay in one of Keith’s rental homes. What meant the most to Cooper, however, was what Keith did for him after his playing days.

For a lot of retired players, figuring out what’s next can be tough. Cooper said his mental health struggled as he navigated life after football.

“That’s not who you are,” Keith told him once in words that seemed to mirror his own life. “It’s what you did.”

“He was just a sounding board for me and was super supportive,” Cooper said, noting those words stuck with him for years. “... It was nice to have a guy (to talk to about things) you don't talk about necessarily with your college buddies or your family. But he understood and was always just a joy to be around.”

Keith asked Cooper to train his son Stelen when he began playing football in high school. The two also golfed frequently, as Keith regularly did with friends at Belmar Golf Club, a course he co-owned in Norman.

As they grew close over music, golf and beers, Cooper came to understand the loyalty to friends that underpinned Keith’s values and how much he cared about the betterment of people. It also gave him a glimpse into the type of father and family man Keith was as well.

“His son ended up going to play in this ninth grade All-American game and he came down with us,” said Cooper. “And there were a bunch of people and we would have just some talks about who Stelen was and who he was becoming and how great he was doing. … From a true man's perspective, from a father's perspective. That just put me at ease because of who he was.”

More: 10 things you may not have known about Toby Keith

‘A huge passion’

In addition to his music and his OU fandom, Keith was known for being generous with his time and money.

His foundation, OK Kids Korral, provides a cost-free home for families to stay in while their children undergo cancer treatment. He held an annual golf classic and auction to benefit the foundation and his OU friends would regularly participate, as well as other celebrities.

“That was a huge passion for him,” Kruger said. “It's huge. He worked with Coaches. vs. Cancer. I've been in Vegas when he performed on two different occasions just to encourage other people in their battles with cancer ironically. He had a huge passion especially for children.”

Keith would often say while auctioning off a high-dollar item at Riverwind Casino in Norman, “We need this much money to raise and damnit if we don't, I'll just pay for it anyway.”

Through their HBC Champions Foundation, which McMillen serves as president of, Stoops and fellow Hall of Fame coach Barry Switzer always supported Keith’s foundation. In 2019, the organization held a motorcycle toy run in which hundreds of local bikers delivered toys ahead of Christmas to children battling cancer.

At the front of the line on their motorcycle? Keith and his wife, Tricia.

“I was a player when he first invited me to the charity golf tournament for the OK Kids Korral,” Cooper said. “And I didn't know anything about it before then, but just realizing how much he did for these families with children going through some terrible illnesses. It was, I mean, it blew me out of the water.

“ … After now having kids myself and understanding that people go through these obviously horrible things with kids with cancer and kids with all these different illnesses, and him making it comfortable for them and taking the pain of the financial stress away is I mean, it's unbelievable. Obviously, it's a similar thought process to the St. Jude's Hospital. But he wanted to do it for kids in Oklahoma, which that's who he is.

“He's an Oklahoman at heart and will take care of his people when he can.”

'America lost a legend today': Social media reacts to news of Toby Keith's death

One of Keith’s strongest OU friendships is the one he shared with Stoops. The bond that started in Florida came full circle in OU’s Big 12 opener last season, as the two friends shared a moment on the field, rallying Sooners fans one more time — together.

Two friends, who’d lived in spotlights few could imagine, earning fame and fortune while raising their families in a town — and around a university — they love. And in doing so, building a bond bigger than the game that introduced them to each other.

Months before, Stoops led his Arlington Renegades to the XFL Championship, the crowning game for a league Keith could only dream of in his semi-pro playing days. It was a far cry from college football’s grand stages, and Keith had just finished chemo treatment days before.

Stoops and McMillen weren’t expecting to see their friend make it to the Alamodome in San Antonio for the game.

But there he was.

“I’m not going to miss my boy win another championship,” McMillen recalled a stricken Keith telling him.

That’s who Keith was. A passionate fan, a talented artist, and a husband, father and Oklahoman through and through.

And a Sooner, who showed up and stood up for the OU community, which will remember him as an intensely loyal and supportive friend.

This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Toby Keith was a diehard OU Sooners fan until his death from cancer