Thanksgiving Food Comparisons for the Iowa Hawkeyes: 2023 Edition
Round two, here we go! Last year I attempted to make comparisons of various Thanksgiving food items to members of the Iowa football team. It’s the perfect combination of two things synonymous with fall, football and the Thanksgiving feast.
It’s that time of year again, Thanksgiving day. We all have a lot to be thankful for in our lives and with our Hawkeyes. Kirk Ferentz and the boys brought home the Big Ten West division championship and will be heading back to the Big Ten Championship! That’s definitely worth celebrating with a massive feast!
For the second year, I am attempting to make food comparisons for Iowa football, and I gave myself a bit more of a challenge. I included even more food items, including some special desserts into the mix.
I tried to encompass most of the traditional foods of the holiday, so if you have some particular item that only your family features it will not be on this list. I’d be glad to hear what comparison you would make to that food. Without further ado, I’m hungry, let’s talk about some food!
Kirk Ferentz: Turkey
That’s right, Kirk Ferentz is still the turkey and that will not change until he steps down as head coach of Iowa football. As turkey is synonymous with the holiday of Thanksgiving, so is Ferentz to Iowa football. He is Iowa football, building a steady winning program. Just like the bird, he may not be the most flavorful option, but Kirk Ferentz gets the job done year after year.
Phil Parker: Gravy
Last year, I named Cooper DeJean as Iowa’s gravy for his overall versatility. This year, I have reexamined exactly what gravy’s role in a Thanksgiving feast is, and my conclusion is that it is the Phil Parker of the dinner table.
While others try to innovate their Thanksgiving dinner with “special” ways to spruce up their turkey, the combination of bird and gravy is still undefeated. The turkey provides the structure, while the gravy completes it with the flavor.
It’s the same way Phil Parker completes Iowa football and Kirk Ferentz. He just makes everything work.
Cooper DeJean: Mashed Potatoes
Cooper DeJean has now taken the mashed potatoes mantel from Jack Campbell as the featured player of the Iowa Hawkeyes’ Thanksgiving feast. Just like the fluffy and buttery potatoes are the best part of Thanksgiving dinner, DeJean is the star of the show and the backbone of Iowa’s defense.
Tory Taylor: Sweet Potato Casserole
Tory Taylor is still the sweet potato casserole, and yes, it still is amazing. I don’t care what any of you naysayers think, sweet potatoes with brown sugar and marshmallows is an amazing dish. The same way having the best punter in the nation is awesome.
Jay Higgins: Scalloped Potatoes
If you don’t have scalloped potatoes at your feast, you’re absolutely missing out. If you don’t know what they are, I feel bad for you, the same way I feel bad for those who don’t know who Jay Higgins is.
He may not get the shine that other top defenders do in the nation, but Higgins has been fantastic this year for the Hawkeyes. Just like scalloped potatoes, he is the most underrated player in the game.
The Running Backs: Mac and Cheese
Last year it was just Kaleb Johnson in this slot, but now I’m including all three backs. Johnson, alongside Leshon Williams, and Jaziun Patterson, has shown signs of greatness.
Unfortunately, they are dependent on a lot of other variables and have kind of been wasted this year. It’s the same way that mac and cheese can be both hit or miss. A lot of people make it bad, but with a good cook, mac and cheese is a touchdown.
Sebastian Castro: Stuffing
These next two selections are very similar, because both Sebastian Castro and Nick Jackson have very similar roles in Iowa’s defense. Castro is the secondary playmaker for the Hawkeye defense, always delivering when he is asked to.
He works amazingly as an in-between for linebacker Higgins and corner DeJean. It’s the same way that stuffing works amazingly with other Thanksgiving dishes, while shining in its own right.
Nick Jackson: Cranberry Sauce
I didn’t include cranberry sauce last year because I wasn’t a fan. A year later, I realized I was viewing the dish wrong. It may not be my thing on its own, but combined with other dishes, it really brings everything together. Yes, Wawa’s gobbler sandwich brought me to that conclusion.
Nick Jackson is the perfect complementary player in the Hawkeye defense.
Joe Evans: Cornbread
Once again, every Thanksgiving dinner should have cornbread. I’m begging my folks to read this and include it on the menu this year. Cornbread is amazing and always delivers. Sounds like Joe Evans, eh?
Drew Stevens: Dinner Rolls
Listen, dinner rolls may not be the most exciting item. Not to bash them, but nobody really goes into Thanksgiving dinner saying “Yay, I can’t wait to get my hands on those rolls!” This is true even if they are King’s Hawaiian rolls, too.
Do not overlook the importance of this often neglected side dish, though. When the turkey for some reason is dry, the mac and cheese was overcooked, and somebody forgot to bring mashed potatoes, what can you count on to get the job done? That’s right! The dinner rolls! Now, who can you count on when Brian Ferentz’s offense stalls in the red zone? Drew Stevens.
Erick All: Pumpkin Pie
Let’s get to desserts now! Everyone knows that desserts are an extremely integral part of the feast. You have to leave room or make room for the sweets at the end, and that includes pumpkin pie.
It just gets the job done and is always dependable. It is the Erick All of desserts. If you don’t like pumpkin pie for some reason, then just swap this out for sweet potato pie.
Luke Lachey: Apple Pie
Ah yes, the GOAT pie. While maybe not the most synonymous with Thanksgiving itself, apple pie is the designated pie of the fall season. At worst, it’s just good. At best, it’s the best thing in the world. They are the star of the show, just as Luke Lachey was the star of this Iowa offense before injury.
Addison Ostrenga: Pecan Pie
Addison Ostrenga is like pecan pie, in that both aren’t your first thought when it comes to Iowa football or Thanksgiving dinner. However, both are fantastic additions that should receive a lot more attention in the future.
Kaleb Brown: Shoofly Pie
I’m just going to use this entry to expose you all to the amazing dessert that is shoofly pie. If you don’t know what it is, that’s OK. It’s more of a regional dish. If you’re from the Pennsylvania area though, you just got a big smile reading this entry.
Shoofly pie is incredible. It’s made with molasses and brown sugar and is a specialty in the Pennsylvania Dutch area. Not many people know about it, but if they did, it would surely be featured more on Thanksgiving. It’s the same way that Kaleb Brown is fantastic and should be utilized more in Iowa’s offense.
Iowa Fans: Beer
That’s right Iowa fans, YOU are the best part of this feast. You are the beer! Need I even explain why?
Contact/Follow us @HawkeyesWire on X, and like our page on Facebook to follow ongoing coverage of Iowa news, notes, and opinions.
Follow Jacob on X: @Jacobkeppen
We occasionally recommend interesting products and services. If you make a purchase by clicking one of the links, we may earn an affiliate fee. Hawkeyes Wire operates independently, though, and this doesn’t influence our coverage.
