Snoring? Bugs? Mold? Be glad, Dolphins, you don't have to live like other teams | Habib

INDIANAPOLIS — Maybe you saw the results of a survey of NFL players that basically rated the Dolphins as the best organization to play for and you wondered why Miami hasn’t won a playoff game in forever, much less a Super Bowl.

Maybe that’s not the point.

Maybe the better question is: Wait. The Dolphins are losing out to those guys?

The NFL is a multibillion-dollar industry. In fact, individual franchises are, and they’re owned by millionaires and billionaires.

And yet …

… And yet you’d never know it by some of the penny-pinching, mind-boggling ways some franchises find acceptable. Ways that would be sad if they weren’t downright comical.

Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes beat the Dolphins in the wild-card round and won a ring, but he'd better be grateful for that chair at his locker.
Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes beat the Dolphins in the wild-card round and won a ring, but he'd better be grateful for that chair at his locker.

The Kansas City Chiefs. Remember them? The team that froze out the Dolphins in the wild-card round and went on to win the Super Bowl? First-class organization, right? Wrong. Coach Andy Reid received the highest ratings of any NFL coach — and yet even that wasn’t enough to keep the Chiefs from finishing 31st — next to last — in the overall ratings, which include factors such as treatment of families, nutrition, training and strength staffs and practice facility.

Here is a real-life quote on the Chiefs in the overall findings published by the NFL Players Association, which conducted the survey: “Though the players received actual chairs with backs to sit in at their lockers in response to last year’s feedback, it did not change the fact that the locker room is overdue for a renovation.”

Before anybody gives K.C. credit for not purchasing backless chairs to save a few dollars, the survey adds: “The issue, however, is that the players feel that the team promised them much more. The original plan was for the team to do a full renovation of the locker room after the ‘22 season. However, the team never followed through with that promise.”

Players have to pay to have children cared for during games?

Oh, but it gets worse, much worse, when you look across the league. One of the biggest complaints by players is how their families and children are treated, especially on game days. A dozen teams make players and their families fend for themselves during games when it comes to day care. This includes the Los Angeles Chargers, whose day care facility is not on site and yet players have to pay for it. It’s $75 for the first child and $50 for each additional child.

No explanation is provided, however, on why Kid No. 2 is valued less than Kid No. 1. Probably a lousy vertical leap.

While we’re at it, we’re fine never knowing why Jacksonville Jaguars players said their organization does provide child care, but “some respondents feel like the offering needs to be improved.” Why? Players say is it “unreliable.”

The Cleveland Browns received a D-minus grade for how they treat families, placing 26th and making you wonder what a team has to do to place any lower. Here’s why:

“Early in the season, the team was not allowing players who had been carted off the field with a significant injury to contact their wives or loved ones from the locker room to let them know how they were doing.”

Sounds like a solid plan. Wifey can get the news when the official injury report comes out the next week. Like everybody else.

The Browns and Cincinnati Bengals have an area for families to gather after games. It’s called a tent. Because where else would you rather be in the dead of winter in Ohio?

Perhaps there’s a good reason the Bengals go the tent route. Players say half the showers in the locker room don’t work. Warm water or water pressure is optional. Also, “They face consistent plumbing issues that limit the amount of functioning toilets the players can use.”

With Buccaneers? Private hotel room is extra. Bugs are not.

Remember the Titans? The guys from Tennessee whose sublime comeback helped wreck the Dolphins’ season? The wonder is how those guys stayed awake long enough. The Titans are one of seven teams that make some players have roommates the night before games.

So what happens if you want to avoid That Guy Who Snores before the next road game? If you’re one of the younger players on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, it’ll cost you $1,750. That’s what the team charges per season to room solo. Speaking of paycheck deductions, it’s $90 per child for game day care. (Is it a plus that the second kid isn’t devalued like in L.A.?)

Tampa, we’re not done with you.

More: How Waddle, Phillips contracts figure into Tua, Wilkins deals with Miami Dolphins

“The players say the locker room is not clean, constantly smelly and has a persistent bug issue in the showers,” the report says. “They also mention that the sauna is dirty and/or moldy, small and constantly breaking down.”

The Bucs, Buffalo Bills and Indianapolis Colts have a curious seating arrangement on team flights. Players sit in the small seats while coaches and staffers go first class. No word on whether staffers also board the plane via the status lane while players have to use general boarding, wait for their group number and bring one carry-on and one personal item.

In case you’re wondering, the Washington Commanders finished last in the survey, much of it thanks to former owner Daniel Snyder. “Multiple sewage leaks” is a phrase you might not expect from an NFL facility, but Snyder didn’t have a problem with it. That’s the kind of atmosphere that new owner Josh Harris steps into, hopefully while rolling up his sleeves (if not his trousers).

“When asked what the number one issue respondents want to prioritize for fixing, most players couldn’t come up with just one,” the report says. “Instead, the common answer was the entire facility.”

Thursday, the Dolphins released a statement from owner Stephen Ross on finishing atop the ratings.

More: Cam Smith is Dolphins' starting CB solution, not draft pick | Schad

“We’re trying to build a best-in-class organization and I’m proud of our leadership and how we approach things,” Ross said. “We want our players and all of our employees to know that they matter and that they are a part of something special together, and hearing the players’ voices in this survey is a validation that we are doing things the right way. We will continue to listen to them and aspire to be the best in everything we do as we strive to win championships.”

Fans can and have said all they want about the Dolphins’ inability to win a playoff game with Ross as owner. They can criticize some of the hirings he has made.

But if they’re finding fault with what he just said, they’re reaching.

Dolphins reporter Hal Habib can be reached at Follow him on social media @gunnerhal.

Click here to subscribe.

This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Dolphins should be glad to avoid comical conditions on some NFL teams