From side eyes to gratitude, the highs and lows of coaching your kid's team

Looking through the rosters of Greater Cincinnati high school teams reveal myriad sibling connections, brothers and sisters having an athletic influence on each other.

What's a little more rare is to see athletes coached by their parents.

There's a special bond shared by family members who partake in the same sport, especially when it's across multiple generations. The connection on the field often strengthens the familial relationship off it.

Ahead of Mother's Day (and Father's Day on June 16), The Enquirer spoke with several high school head coaches whose sons or daughters are on their roster.

Ted and Alyssa Arlinghaus, Holy Cross basketball

Somewhere down the line, Holy Cross' gym floor may be named after the Arlinghaus family. Ted, his brother Ben and sister Rachel graduated from Holy Cross in the 1990s and now their kids are making their way through the school.

"We are a basketball family," Ted said.

He remembers not taking summer vacations as a kid, instead traveling to watch the Kentucky Wildcats play in the NCAA Tournament.

Ted coached his son, Luke, in grade school and now coaches his daughter, Alyssa, as she is making her name known for the back-to-back All "A" state champions. He doesn't take this time with his kids for granted, realizing over the last few years that the extra time together has created countless, priceless memories. Alyssa echoed his sentiment.

"Being able to see him at practice and at games and on the way to practice, it is important to me because I get to talk to him and be with my dad," Alyssa said.

Since Luke and Alyssa are only a year apart in school, they regularly compete to see who has better stats at the end of the season. Last season, Luke scored more points per game but Alyssa was a touch better from three-point range.

"As a parent, you just want to see your kids be passionate about what they do, and they're both very passionate about basketball. So for me to get to watch them go out and compete in the game they love, it's thrilling," Ted said.

In his four years as head coach, he has fostered that same competitiveness within his team because he truly sees the team as a family and cares about everyone's well-being.

"Just his character. He's a really good person, not just as a coach but as a dad, as a person in life. I admire that and I look up to him for it," Alyssa said.

Carrie and Rebecca Brink, Wyoming softball

The Brink family is finally coming full circle on the diamond with Rebecca now a freshman. Carrie has coached at Wyoming for 16 years and saw her oldest daughter, Margaret, come through the program and graduate in 2022. Margaret, now an assistant coach, joins her mom in seeing Rebecca take the high school stage.

"For me, it's amazing to have a front-row seat to their accomplishments on the field," Carrie said.

Carrie and Rebecca gained another commonality when Rebecca started pitching this year, something Margaret never did. She appeared in six games this year, making the first start of her high school career on April 19. She pitched all five innings against Deer Park, allowing just four runs on two hits.

Rebecca's favorite thing about her mom is how smart she is and how she passes her knowledge on to the team. That brainpower ties into Carrie's favorite moments from their first season together. Carrie acts as the third base coach (as many head softball coaches do) and enjoys waving Rebecca around third to head for home plate.

"She has a lot of wisdom to share. I think she's wise beyond her years," Rebecca said.

But Carrie also knows when to hold her players at third if the situation calls for it.

"My goal is to help them learn the game, help them learn life and learn what to do. My goal is to teach them to fly and get them out of the nest. But I'm not going to kick them out. I'm going to make sure they have the tools they need to succeed," Carrie said.

Dennis and Ryan Coyle, Cincinnati Country Day football

Football and the Coyle family are just as intertwined as the Coyle family and the Country Day network. Dennis has watched his children (Sarah, Ryan and Leah) attend CCD the last five years. For 10 years before that, they attended the Savannah Country Day School in Georgia, where Dennis was the athletic director and football coach.

Dennis began coaching Ryan in 2021. His son has come a long way from playing peewee football, often going up against players three years older than him. He enjoyed watching Ryan play at that stage, especially when Ryan's coach had to pick him up after getting tackled because he had an oversized helmet and pads.

Ryan never needed much adjustment to his dad's play-calling because his prior coaches ran similar schemes. He has noticed how much his dad appreciates all the minor details. During the football season, Dennis will spend his weekends distributing film to his players to begin scouting for their next opponent.

"I think really highly of my dad as a coach. I think he's probably the best coach I've had, football-wise," Ryan said.

As CCD's athletic director, Dennis brings the same approach to his coworkers as his family. The athletic administration at CCD is an extension of the Coyle family because the Coyles are so invested in the school. Dennis' wife, Nicole, and oldest daughter Sarah often help with the gate or scoreboard at football games.

"They're fully involved and as a result, I think the community sees that my family buys in and it's truly a family atmosphere," Dennis said.

Ryan sees firsthand everything his dad does, even behind the scenes. His attention to detail led the football team to a 10-0 regular season record in 2023. The school's athletic success across all sports ultimately reflects his work as the athletic director.

"I don't see anyone else working as hard as he does, and I'm very proud to say that he's my dad," Ryan said. "He's making everything happen around our school in athletics. How hard he works, I don't really tell him enough, but I'm really grateful for it."

Craig and Camrynn Linneman, Taylor softball

The Linneman family has played a significant role in the Yellowjackets' seven straight Cincinnati Hills League titles and 96 consecutive league wins.

Craig is in his third year as head coach after four years as an assistant. He coached his oldest daughter, Brooklyn, from 2017 to 2019 and has been at the helm for Camrynn's career. When asked about his favorite memories with Camrynn, he gave her a side eye that said, "you know what I'm about to say."

"Headaches," Craig said sarcastically.

In reality, he takes pride in the success his daughters have brought to the team. As a pitcher, Brooklyn broke the program's career strikeout record with 535. Camrynn shattered that milestone last year; she currently has 748. Both have multiple perfect games to their name. The Yellowjackets won their first district championship in 2023.

"He's coached me since, literally, tee ball and up so there's way too many memories," Camrynn said.

Taylor has experienced an abundance of success in recent years because the expectations that Craig has for his daughters are the same expectations he has for the rest of the team.

"He wants the best for everybody and it's awesome. He's a great coach," Camrynn said.

The family is enjoying Camrynn's senior season before she heads to the University of Dayton. Brooklyn, currently at the University of Tennessee-Martin, played a big role in Camrynn's development as a pitcher. To Craig, his daughters' careers are reminders of the memories the game has brought them.

"I didn't have to say, 'Hey, let's go out to the yard. Hey, let's go do this. Let's go do that.' They wore me out," Craig said.

Felisha and Emma Hartmann, Little Miami basketball

The Hartmanns' basketball bond began when Felisha, a native of Whitesburg, Kentucky, co-founded the Cincinnati Youth Premier Basketball League to help establish a youth basketball scene in Cincinnati. She coached Emma and her older brother, Evan, as each went from second to sixth grade.

While Felisha has had the main role in developing Emma as a player, her teammates call Emma the team's "glue player" and voted her as a team captain this season.

"Having her at practice and at games, too, she was always my No. 1 supporter," Emma said. "It gave me an extra person on my side always helping me and wanting me to get better."

To keep the line between their coach-athlete relationship and mother-daughter relationship from blurring, Felisha tries to put herself in Emma's shoes. Even when they're in a basketball capacity, Felisha lets Emma enjoy her friends' company on the bus and in the locker room.

But since Emma is being recruited as a soccer player, their time spent together on the court means even more headed into Emma's senior season.

"It's just a way to strengthen that bond. When she goes off to college, I won't have that time with her, so having that time is something I don't take for granted," Felisha said.

Emma saw one moment from this past season as a microcosm of their relationship. When she injured her ankle on senior day, Felisha wanted to be there for her as a mother, but she had a team to attend to. The two resorted to reading each other's body language, something they have become accustomed to doing in all their time spent together.

As hard as Emma has worked to become a stalwart in the rotation, she is equally proud of her mom for building the program to the point that the community's youth wants to get involved.

"We do a youth camp with 100 to 200 girls and they all look up to her and think so highly of the program. There's so many people that have spoken so highly of her," Emma said.

Scott and Allie Smith, Simon Kenton wrestling

Scott Smith didn't initially want to become a high school wrestling coach, even though he had been around wrestling his whole life. He did so when his oldest daughter, Zoey, was an eighth-grader. Nine years later, he coached Allie through her first wrestling season at Simon Kenton.

Zoey, now a junior at the University of the Cumberlands, won a Kentucky Wrestling Coaches Association title in 2021. Allie appeared in the inaugural KHSAA state tournament as a sophomore.

"Zoey was wrestling really before anybody was really wrestling in Kenton County and now, Allie and these girls that are coming up are the true pioneers of wrestling, especially in this area," Scott said. "I'm super proud of them."

Zoey and Allie inherited Scott's love for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu before they started wrestling. Even though Scott was more comfortable with Jiu Jitsu, Zoey was unwavering in her desire to wrestle. Part of the reason Scott took the head position at Simon Kenton was to mentor her so she could take over the program after her college career ends.

Allie was more comfortable with Jiu Jitsu and didn't want to be compared to Zoey and her brother, Parker, if she joined the wrestling team. Still, she joined along with a friend and stayed because of the environment her dad created.

"I stayed in it because I could see that my dad wanted to really help us get better and I really fell in love with the sport," Allie said.

During competition, the communication between coach and wrestler mostly focuses on tactics, but Allie said her dad's best advice is to not get in her own head. In an individualistic sport where it can be easy to get down on yourself, that's the biggest lesson that Scott takes from the mat to everyday life

"It teaches you to keep marching on and have the fortitude and the stamina to know that the next day, you can win. You can get better. Just because you lost one day doesn't mean you're going to lose the next. That's really the biggest lesson I think all wrestlers and Jiu Jitsu people have is they realize you're not really losing, you're learning," Scott said.

Courtney and Elyse Weinheimer, Badin volleyball

The Weinheimers have led the Rams to new heights in the past two seasons. They advanced to their first state tournament in 2022 and appeared in a third straight regional final in 2023.

Both are excited to lead Badin to more postseason wins in the next two seasons while cherishing time spent on the court together. Courtney has coached Elyse since she was in the third grade at St. John the Baptist. She took the head coaching job at Badin after Anitra Brockman left to become the head coach at Central State.

"We had lots of hard discussions but in the end, we all agreed that it was a good thing. It wasn't just a 'me' decision to take the job. It was a family decision," Courtney said.

They also make sure to drown out those who might say Elyse is only on the team because she is the coach's daughter. On a 2023 team with four senior starters, Elyse played in every game and had the second-most assists on the team (260). She is in position to be the Rams' starting setter as a junior.

Courtney and Elyse also know the importance of establishing boundaries between volleyball and everyday life, doing their best to not let one bleed over to the other.

"Anybody that plays for me knows that I'm harder on her than I am on other people, and I think that's where she gets a little frustrated with me but I'm hard on her because I know she has it in her and I know that she's so young and has a lot of growing room, and I want her to be the best she can be," Courtney said.

Badin went 20-8 last season and had winning streaks of five and seven games. But Elyse said her mom's best attribute was on display when the Rams lost three matches in a row in early September to drop to 6-4 overall.

"She never gives up on the team. She always has something positive to say," Elyse said.

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Coach your kid, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Moms talk coaching