I don't have much to add to this picture, other that to say I'm shocked that Mark Reynolds(notes) is kneeling by first base and not home plate. Not only is the Arizona D'Back running away with the NL lead in strikeouts with 87, but he's on pace for 231 fannings, which would make the 204 he racked up in '08 — the worst total in baseball history — look like a great season. Luckily for Reynolds, the Rangers' Chris Davis(notes) leads the American League with 88 and is on pace for 239.
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
1st — Smoshed. "Mike, this is one of many photographic opportunities in what I'm sure will be a long and successful career. Do yourself a favor and get a flowbee."
2nd — Capt. Toto. "And with the 25th pick in this years draft, the Los Angeles of California of the United States of the Western Hemisphere of Earth of the Milky Way Angels of someplace in Orange County select...uh, wait, what's your name again?""
3rd — Bryan G. "Bud Selig thinks he's meeting Stephen Strasburg and Mike Trout thinks he's meeting Janet Reno."
HM — nate. "Back when I was your age, Anaheim was nothing but orange groves. Of course back then oranges were called scruvy-fruit. We used to stand guard day and night for fear the Kaiser would steal our scurvy-fruit. At that time, we didn't know the Kaiser's intentions and we quite taken with him so we named our finest buns after the feller. Speaking of buns, little did we know... (story goes on for 47 more minutes)."