Masters 2023: How to get your own Pimento Cheese sandwich

There's not much worth remembering about the way the pandemic ravaged the sports world, but there was this: the Taste of the Masters. When the Masters was forced to go off without patrons in attendance, Augusta National's brain trust came up with a brilliant idea of bringing the Masters to the people, at least in food form.

The Taste of the Masters boasts an array of classic Masters foodstuffs, packaged for you and a dozen of your closest friends. Let's break it down.

Per the official Taste of the Masters site, the total package — available for $175, shipping included — will include:

• Egg Salad (24oz)

• Pimento Cheese (24oz)

• Pork Bar-B-Que (24oz)

• Plain Potato Chips (6)

• Bar-B-Que Potato Chips (6)

• Cookies (12)

• Masters Branded Souvenir Cups (sleeve of 25)

• Masters Branded Wax Paper (sleeve of 12 sheets)

• Masters Coasters (pack of 12)

• Hosting Kit Materials

Your eyes will be drawn to the Pimento Cheese, the standard-bearer for Masters food. But don't sleep on the real MVP of this package: the 25 souvenir cups. Those are some of the finest American summer barbecue status symbols you'll ever find, and if you've got a cupboard full of those, friend, you're good to go for years to come. The menus are suitable for framing, too, as long as you don't drip too much cheese or barbecue sauce on them.

I've spent considerable time consuming these various foods in their native habitat, so let me offer up a few options for you to Frankenstein your way into some deliciousness beyond just the standard offerings:

• Slather some pimento cheese on a warm bun and use it to top your pork barbecue sandwich. Pimento + pork BBQ = the Augusta food GOAT.

• Throw some chips on top of the barbecue in your sandwich. The extra salty crunch is divine, and you don't have to worry about disrupting somebody's putt when you bite down.

• You simply must make yourself an Arnold Palmer — iced tea and lemonade, of course — in one of the souvenir cups. The Masters even tacitly endorses such a creation, as you can see in the photo above.

• Another, more secret, highly unofficial Masters drink: the "Stand 12," a combination of pink lemonade and blue "sports drink," with a splash of "lemon-lime soda" between the two. The concessionaires won't make the Stand 12 — named for the food-and-drink stand overlooking Amen Corner — any longer, but that shouldn't stop you from making it for yourself.

• Lovingly spread egg salad on white bread, admire the color and texture ... and then sling it out the nearest window. This is no reflection on Augusta National's variant on egg salad. I'm on record as hating egg salad in general, so bear that in mind. If you must eat it, douse the hell out of it with hot sauce and you'll be good to go.

For a complete rundown of all of the Masters' food offerings, including those included in the Taste of the Masters, check out our official power rankings from 2022 right here.

Not included in the Taste of the Masters: bread, for obvious reasons. Find some standard white bread for the pimento cheese and egg salad sandwiches, and a standard hamburger bun for the BBQ.

Also not included: beverages. Augusta National serves recognizable brands of beer and soft drinks, but without the brand names, so you can do the same thing. Your guests will take their Diet Cola or Domestic Beer and like it.

Also not included: the chorus of bird sounds that accompanies your every bite while on the course. Cue up the hour-long version of the Masters theme for a similar effect.

Sadly also not included: the fabled Peach Ice Cream Sandwich, simply the greatest item ever to emerge from the piney woods of Augusta National. You could try to re-create it with the cookies and your own ice cream, but it'll be like pretending a putt-putt course is as good as Augusta's 18th.

If you want to get your own Taste of the Masters, jump on it sooner rather than later. These beauties sell out, and the only way to get your genuine Masters pimento cheese sandwich is to travel to Augusta and get in the gates. And that'll cost you a lot more than $175.