Loss of 2 stillborn sons, miscarriage provides motivation for Beech Grove basketball coach

INDIANAPOLIS — David Sanders knew right away the first hire he wanted to make as the new high school boys basketball coach at Beech Grove.

His wife, Aimee.

“I told her the other night she’s going to be the team mom,” Sanders said. “She’s getting ready for her role.”

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That designation is more than an honorary title. It is deeply meaningful to David and Aimee, who have struggled through personal loss the past three years. The couple lost two sons, Kingston and Karson, to stillbirth. A third, Krew, was lost during a miscarriage.

It has been a journey of indescribable pain for David and Aimee, but the heartbreak has also brought them closer.

“His grief is different than my grief,” Aimee said. “But we both lost our boys, and I think we’ve tried to understand one another through our grief. David’s passion is basketball and mentoring young men and being there for the kids. I’ve talked to other families and heard of other families where this tragedy puts a wrench in the relationship, but it has brought us closer.”

Sanders, 34, believes the personal devastation narrowed his focus and led him on a path to the Beech Grove job faster than it might have happened otherwise. The 2008 Beech Grove graduate, a three-time all-conference guard for the Hornets, set the career assists record at IU-East before going on to coach as an assistant on the basketball staff and head track and field coach at IU-East for five years. He moved to Atlanta in 2017 to be near his ailing mother, taking a job as an academic advisor at Georgia State.

When Aimee became pregnant with Kingston in 2021, he called then-Beech Grove coach Mike Renfro to see if there were any openings on the staff. He coached the eighth-grade team that year, the same season the Hornets won the program’s first state championship in Class 3A.

Sanders moved up to coach the junior varsity team the following year as the Hornets reached the 3A semistate under coach Joe Rihm. He stayed in that role last season as Beech Grove dropped to 5-19 with an inexperienced roster; Rihm resigned after the season but will remain at the school in the athletic administration.

“I think last year was kind of a ‘one off’ type of year,” Sanders said. “We didn’t have a lot of experience and it was a big difference going from JV to varsity, where everyone was bigger, stronger and faster. This (incoming) senior class has won a lot of basketball games in their careers, though. At the end of last season, we started winning and were playing some good teams close. Going from zero varsity experience, they got better and better.”

David’s first year back at Beech Grove was also heartbreaking personally. Aimee was 35 weeks into her pregnancy when Kingston was stillborn on Feb. 18, 2022. The couple got pregnant again later in 2022 but son Karson was stillborn at 32 weeks on April 28, 2023.

“It’s kind of the million-dollar question,” Aimee said when asked if there was any correlation between the two. “Karson had a bowel obstruction they were monitoring but they did not know if that was the cause (of the stillbirth).”

Aimee had been pregnant for 13 weeks with son Krew when she suffered a miscarriage on Oct. 20, restarting another cycle of grief.

“Honestly, David has been my light,” Aimee said. “I’ve watched him throw himself into basketball and his coaching and how he deals with his grief. His passion and willingness to help these kids and be their go-to person has helped me as much as anything. It’s helped me see that it’s not all bad. Not to say we don’t have hard days because we do. But he helps me so much.”

David, who has tattoos on his right arm to remember the three sons he has lost, has always seen himself as a coach. But his personal trials have only strengthened that view.

“It’s something that motivated me and shaped me,” Sanders said. “I really believe all the losses we had led me to this moment. This is my passion and something I always wanted to do and something I can do to fill a void I can put a lot of time and energy into. They always say you become a better coach when you become a dad. I wasn’t able to do that yet, but these kids (at Beech Grove) are like sons to me.”

Aimee and David intend to try again with pregnancy but are also open to adoption. They hope their story can also help others who are going through similar tragedy.

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“You hear about pregnancy loss but maybe not as much about stillbirth,” Aimee said. “Hopefully we can help other people know you can be successful and live life again. It’s been a hard journey but fulfilling for me to see David pouring his heart and soul into our family and also the boys on the basketball team.”

Sanders said he plans to build the program on four pillars: accountability, discipline, toughness and family.

“Those are four things we’re going to talk about every day,” he said. “We want to make these boys into better men. High school basketball is a great thing, but my goal is when they go out into the world and are done playing, they are better sons, husbands and fathers.”

Call Star reporter Kyle Neddenriep at (317) 444-6649.

This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Beech Grove new basketball coach David Sanders, wife coping with loss