There is an alarming lack of transfer gossip in Monday’s papers. All anyone seems to be interested in is talking about the football that happened over the weekend – as if they think Harry Kane scoring two goals is somehow more exciting than Harry Kane possibly going to Real Madrid for £179million.
In fact, it’s almost as if the papers just make up the transfer stories on the other days of the week because there is no actual football to talk about (but of course we know that can’t be true, because then the Boss of Goss’s existence would start to seem very futile and worthless).
And anyway, it doesn’t matter if the English papers are being boring, because we can just trundle over to the Castilian-flavoured pages of Don Balon. And they are NEVER boring.
READ MORE: Real want Pochettino AND Kane
Today, for instance, they are telling us that Gareth Bale is going to sign for Chelsea! Praise be to Don Balon.
According to the Spanish rumour executives (it’s so much more dignified than mongers, don’t you think?), Antonio Conte is keen to use the money he received for Diego Costa to bring the Real Madrid star to Stamford Bridge.
Conte has a enticing vision of a Blues front three consisting of Eden Hazard, Bale and Alvaro Morata and is confident that Chelsea “will once again be a reference in terms of signings with the incorporation of the Welsh” (Google Translate on the money as usual there).
Man Utd want Donnarumma
And Don Balon has plenty more where that came from. The gossip connoisseurs also claim Manchester United have accepted that David de Gea “will not last much longer in the English set” and have started drawing up a list of replacements for the Spanish goalkeeper.
Top of that list is AC Milan’s teenage sensation Gianluigi Donnarumma, who could be available in the summer if AC Milan fail to make the Champions League, and second on the list is Atletico Madrid’s Slovenian shotstopper Jan Oblak. And that’s all of the list.
Meanwhile, English-based gossip is dull by comparison. We learn that Stoke City’s board are “refusing to panic” despite the Potters’ very dodgy start to the Premier League season (Telegraph), Newcastle goalie Rob Elliot thinks the prospect of a Toon takeover is “exciting for everyone” (Times) and a Barcelona scout was at Wembley on Sunday to watch Philippe Coutinho face Tottenham (Mirror). But he may just return to Catalonia with the name of another potential world superstar on his lips: Dejan. Lovren.