Gary Patterson will drug test TCU players after spring break

Dr. Saturday

Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, the temptations of spring break are too numerous to count and TCU coach Gary Patterson knows them all too well. The Horned Frogs aren't going to fall peril to these impulses, not on Patterson's watch, he made sure of it.

"We drug-tested last month and we'll probably drug-test again when they get back," Patterson told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. "People do stupid things like playing beach volleyball and turning their ankle, breaking their leg jumping in three-foot pools."

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Can you blame Patterson for being a little more controlling over his players' spring break activities this year? After all, four of his (former) football players were involved in a campus-wide drug bust and his whole football program faces intense scrutiny over how many players were actually using drugs.

Still, spring break is a time for a young man to, well, do young man things on the beach with bikini-clad ladies who attend church services and have no questionable intentions or morals. Patterson is OK with a young man doing young man things as long as those young man things include playing Parcheesi at home with their 85-year-old grandfathers.

"A lot of our kids can't afford to go to one of those places," Patterson said, referring to places of ill repute like Padre Island or Miami. "So they'll go home, get a chance to see their buddies. They need a break. They've been going hard since January. We've been pushing them pretty hard."

The Horned Frogs better enjoy this break because it's probably the first time Patterson hasn't had them under lock and key considering the embarrassment the program endured last month. So be good on spring break, Horned Frogs, because you'll have to pee in a cup to prove you were, and remember, big brother Patterson is always watching.

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