3.5 hours for RIers to get over a sports loss? 5,885 days later, Mark Patinkin still suffers

Sometimes, the best insights into the Rhode Island soul come from quirky places.

I just found one.

It’s a study about how long people in each state feel miserable after their sports team loses.

It turns out Rhode Island is toward the top of the list.

We’re ninth-highest in post-loss angst.

The national average of wallowing after a beloved team’s defeat is 2 hours and 38 minutes.

Folks in Rhode Island stew for 3 hours and 26 minutes.

A sportsbook wager site called PromoGuy did the study by surveying 2,137 people.

Nebraska cares the least about team losses. They’re only bummed for 22 minutes.

West Virginia gets the most depressed at an astounding 17 hours, with Missouri and Montana at 12-plus hours.

That may seem like a statistical quirk, but today I submit that in fact, the Rhode Island number is underestimated.

We spend far more than 3 hours and 26 minutes bereft at a team loss.

But before I explain my theory, another state’s numbers give an insight into Rhode Island.

You’d think Massachusetts would spend more time athletically bereaved. You know Boston types. They’re nuts when it comes to sports.

But weirdly, Massachusetts folks are down after a loss only half as long as Rhode Islanders – a mere 1 hour and 43 minutes.

Clearly, we take New England sports more to heart. Which is perhaps an insight into the Rhode Island soul. Unlike an impersonal metropolitan center like Boston, Rhode Island is a big village where life is more intimate. We feel things personally, including our teams.

Take the Patriots, which I have long argued belong more to Rhode Island than Boston since Gillette is closer to Providence – 24 miles compared with 27. Not to mention half the driving time. You know Boston traffic.

I give credit to West Virginia for its 17 hours, but I know many folks here who spend days and more wallowing after a hard Patriots or Red Sox defeat.

As a matter of fact, there are tons, including myself, who still aren’t over the two Tom Brady Super Bowl losses that turned on a single unexpected end-of-game catch – both against Eli Manning’s New York Giants.

There was David Tyree’s helmet catch that beat the Patriots 17-14 in one of the biggest upsets ever after a perfect New England season. It happened Feb. 3, 2008 – 5,885 days ago as I write this, which means – are you listening, PromoGuy? – many in Rhode Island have been down about that defeat for 141,240 hours.

And counting.

And then there was 2012, when the Giants had a final drive and a crazy sideline catch with seconds left to complete another upset. That was 106,752 hours ago and I still dwell on it – both losses really – thinking a just God would have given Tom Brady nine Super Bowl rings instead of seven. But no.

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There was also the long angst after Bill Buckner fumbled a grounder – and a Red Sox World Series shot – on Oct. 25, 1986, against the Mets. That angst continued for 6,577 days – and 157,848 hours - until the Sox at last won the crown on Oct. 27, 2004.

And there’s no question many in Rhode Island stewed for the whole 86-year Red Sox World Series drought from Oct. 28, 1918, until the 2004 win – that’s 31,411 days.

Or 753,864 hours.

Which is a lot more Rhode Island post-defeat wallowing than West Virginia’s 17 hours.

I’m not saying we don’t get over sports losses here.

It just takes a bit more time than other places.

mpatinki@providencejournal.com

This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: Patriots, Red Sox losses still sting years later, despite study findings