Oh dear. We all knew this season wasn't exactly one of Liverpool's best ever, but now they're showing that even the lowly Europa League is struggle for them. Perhaps they underestimated their opponent, the wilty-sounding Lille, who are sixth in Ligue 1 and outplayed Liverpool in the first leg of their round of 16 tie enough to deserve the 1-0 win. Even though they scored on a free kick that didn't look like it was meant to be a shot.

So now Liverpool find themselves with another headache in a never-ending season of interfering beach balls, losses, murky guarantees, more losses, Champions League disappointment, attempts to sell tickets to matches they didn't play, and awful, awful owners it might be time to just call the last few months off and take a nice long nap. 

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

Newsreel footage about a proposed ban of women's football that later went into effect and lasted until 1971. [Guardian]

Real Madrid want Jose Mourinho. No way that would go well. [The Spoiler]

Didier Drogba wins African Footballer of the Year. [Sky Sports]

Kaka's advisor calls Pellegrini a coward via Twitter. [Unprofessional Foul]

The Premier League, La Liga, and Serie A to raise awareness for (RED) this weekend with special balls. [Original Winger]

World Cup Moments: The Miracle of Bern. [World Cup Blog]

MLS players are dumb enough to go on strike. [Soccer Insider]

Footballers like blondes. Who aren't their wives. [Kickette]

World Cup mascot dolls made in sweatshops. Of course. [Reuters]

Bendtner better than Theirry Henry? Uh, what? [Caught Offside]

You are the president of a World Cup qualified football association. [MFUSA]

"Infamous pranksters" infiltraded England's team hotel. [Daily Mail]

Speaking of which, don't search "England buggered." Ever. [Studs Up]

The latest stop on the World Cup trophy's global tour is London and Manchester United strike Wayne Rooney stopped by for a look. That's all he could do, though -- just look. FIFA rules say that only past winners and heads of state can actually touch the hunk of gold. Which was too bad for Wayne because it looks like he really wanted to douse it in cooking oil and rub his head against it.

Oh, and if you're wondering what his T-shirt refers to, it's his neck hair. That's not a throat sweater, baby. That's all Roo.

Photo: Reuters; Previously: Buffon shares an intimate moment with the World Cup trophy, The World Cup trophy is confusing

Inter Milan defender Cristian Chivu was back in full training on Wednesday, just two months after fracturing his skull in a clash of heads against Chievo Verona (video below).

Chivu is wearing a Petr Cech style soft helmet, but it's not known whether he will wear that permanently. I say he should just because it looks cool and no one messes with a guy in a helmet.

Chivu is expected to return to match action in April. 

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Despite efforts to extend his loan deal, it appears Landon Donovan's short time at Everton is coming to an end. After a fantastic performance in front of the Goodison faithful last Sunday, Landon is going back to the U.S. on a high note, having proven he can succeed in the Premier League. The following is his latest correspondence with his friends back home. 

What up boys?!

The ultimate coronation of the People’s Bro is in full effect, pull a stool up to the bar and rip shots dudes. Cus figuratively speaking in a metaphoric sense, that’s all I ever do these days. Case in point, the way I balled up this past weekend, as per usual ever since I threw this dope Everton jerz on for the first time. We’re now all in the midst of the sickest broing away rager of all time, thanks to yours truly. Yeah, for all those cougar babes trying to snipe my youngin Dan Brahsling at the clubs, your welcome. I taught you everything you know.

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The little blond kid decides to get slick, which apparently angers the giant defender, who delivers a blow to his head as he comes near. I'm thinking the move reminded #16 of Cristiano, which instinctively made him want to punch the kid. 

Here's some important news that could change your life -- according to topless model and U.K. Big Brother winner Sophie Reade, Cristiano Ronaldo has had his eye on her for some time now. She says:

"I met Ronaldo when I was 18. I was having a meal with my boyfriend at the time.

"He cornered me on the way out the restaurant and asked for my number. I knew who he was but there was nothing I could do as my boyfriend dragged me away.

"But his manager recently rang my manager to see if I wanted to see him in Madrid. He is keen to meet me again apparently."

The young, single and fabulously wealthy footballer who is known to have a thing for ladies who get naked in public is keen to meet her? Hard to believe. And despite being a Liverpool fan, Sophie is apparently a fan of Mr. Acid Wash up there, too.

I smell a deep emotional connection in the making here. Oh no, wait, that's just a mix of spray-tan and alcohol. Nevermind.

After saying all the right things, getting a fantastic reception, and then making Manchester United fans even happier by losing to his former club, Davey Becks attempted to cement a hero status in the red sections of Manchester by wrapping his tattooed neck in a green and gold scarf, which United fans are using as a symbolic protest against the club's awful owners. So does that mean Davey supports the anti-Glazer movement? After the match, he said:

"It's not for me to comment about the ownership of the club or how it is run, that is for other people.

"I saw the scarf and I picked it up because it is the original colours of the club as Newton Heath.

"I hope United now go all the way. They deserve to. It's a great fanbase at a great club with a great manager."

But not great owners? Of course he just happened to see the scarf on the ground, said "look at the pretty colors" and then put it on because of its historical place, having nothing to do with the much more relevant protest going on. Suuure.

Tact and professionalism aside, if he just came right out and said "the Glazers smell like feet and they're awful" he probably would've been named the god king of Manchester by now.

Photo: AP

While most members of AC Milan held out hope that they could go to Old Trafford and overcome the hole they fell into during the first leg of their Champions League tie with Manchester United, the club's vice president, Adriano Galliani, knew a day in advance that they had no hope. Said the Kojak-looking Debbie Downer after his side got eliminated:

“I knew it was going to go badly yesterday afternoon. We had taken Alexandre Pato, Alessandro Nesta and Luca Antonini in the squad, but all three of them pulled out with injuries on Tuesday.

“Without such important players and taking on a Manchester United side of such quality, it was always going to be extremely difficult.

“I don't think it will affect our Serie A form. Leonardo already did very well in the locker room to reassure the players.”

Yeah, and I'm sure hearing you tell the press how hopeless they are after suffering a few injuries that confidence Leonardo propped up will be flying high. 

Galliani went on to ramble about feline AIDS and how everyone dies alone in the end. 

Source: Football Italia

Real Madrid got knocked out of the Champions League round of 16 yet again despite spending like a kid on My Super Sweet 16 last summer and having Cristiano Ronaldo to score all their goals. Real-centric Spanish newspaper Marca is obviously not pleased by this development and it's quite clear who they're laying the blame on. Their readers don't agree, though, with 60% saying Pellegrini shouldn't be sacked for this embarrassment suffered to Lyon. 

So what will Real Madrid do now? Well, they'll certainly rethink their approach and build a cheaper squad based on chemistry instead of which name sells the most shirts. Hahaha just kidding -- they'll probably spend a bunch more money.