The gift that keeps on giving continues on in mind-bending fashion with another couple of Q&A sessions direct from Andrei/ey Arshavin's official website. Join us as we once again delve into the madness...

He starts things off by getting philosophical:

1. From iloveme
Andrey, what do you think people need pain for?
Arshavin: For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.

2. From tasha100 know,
You know sometimes I feel so down. What shall I do?
Arshavin: Try to overcome this situation. Think that after this bad streak, there’s definitely going to be a good one. Despondency is a sin.

I like to think he drops this kind of wisdom on Nicklas Bendtner in the Arsenal dressing room and Bendtner responds by asking if his hair looks OK. 

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This is a new feature that will appear whenever the need arises and will highlight and ridicule a particularly silly rumor (transfer or otherwise), whether based in truth or not. 

According to The Sun, P. Diddy is interested in buying broke Championship club Crystal Palace. Yeah. Let that one marinate in your head for a minute.

The paper says Diddy's U.K. spokesman (I like to imagine that's Fonzworth Bentley using a fake accent) confirmed his interest in the club, while an unnamed source is credited with saying this:

"Diddy was in London meeting football fixers a couple of weeks ago. The finance is in place, he's just deciding who he thinks he'll make a bid for.

"Portsmouth were mentioned but he thought Palace were a better idea.

"He could cover their debt and bankroll a return to the Premier League. He liked the name as well."

"He likes the name as well." Lovely. That's like Paris Hilton buying a pink Bentley because it's pink (which she actually did).

Anyway, this might not be half bad. Palace would get the cash they desperately need, Li'l Kim could get with one of the players and become the new queen of the WAGs, and there could be a moment of silence for the Notorious B.I.G. before every match. He certainly couldn't be any worse than the Glazers, could he?

Previous most ridiculous rumor: Kaka to Juventus

The MLS players union isn't backing down from their threats of a strike over their totally reasonable, yet league foundation-crushing demands for things like free agency and a more open market, but the owners aren't budging, which leaves the situation in a dangerous position as the league's start date draws near. With so little time left to work out an agreement, talk on the matter is getting more blunt and testy as the owners get more vocal in their defense.

First there was Tim Leiweke, chief executive of the L.A. Galaxy, who laid it out pretty clear:

"Here's our issue, and I'm speaking on behalf of AEG," Leiweke said in an interview with The Times on Monday. "We have spent to the tune of $300 million on soccer. We have spent money on facilities. We at one point owned six of the 10 teams to keep the league alive.

"I don't even know how to react when I hear the players now saying that we have treated them poorly and they're going to strike. The fact is, the Galaxy isn't going to make money this year. There are only a couple of [MLS] teams that will make money this year.

"It's not like this league is a work of completion. It's not like we have accomplished what we have to accomplish to be stable and to know we have a great future. It's not like we have reached the potential of a soccer league in this country.

"So when I hear them talk about striking and shutting the league down, I've got to tell you, they're going to lose us when they talk like that.

"We do this out of passion. If this were a business, we would have quit this 10 years ago."

That last line is the killer. While it's certainly a bit of an overstatement intended to crush the player's hopes, how do you strike against people who are already questioning the business sense of the league as it currently stands?

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Manchester United defender/killing machine Nemanja Vidic is getting excited about the prospect of going against teammate Wayne Rooney in the World Cup. Though, Vidic's Serbian side has a tough group with Germany, Australia, and Ghana, he's already daydreaming about playing against England, a matchup he's raised with Rooney. Says Vidic:

"I said it would be an interesting game but he just said, ‘Serbia? Who plays for them?’ He was joking, I think." 

Are you trying to say that Wayne Rooney might not be the incredibly intelligent person of our time, Nemanja? Because I highly doubt that.

Either way, Vidic says he wouldn't go easy on his teammate, especially since he doesn't as it is.

"He is strong and he has pace and for defenders that is always a difficult combination. But I kick him in training and I would do the same in a game."

Nemanja Vidic -- no one is safe. 

Photo: Getty Images; Source: Daily Express

Jose Mourinho knocked his former club out of the Champions League last night with Inter Milan's 1-0 win over Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Beating Chelsea in both legs of the tie, Mourinho got his revenge on the club that sacked him and also snapped Inter's annual struggles in the round of 16. Only one question remains, though, and that's what if it continued? 

97' -- Mario Balotelli shows up to cheer his teammates, Italy declares him the worst person in the world. 

101' -- Carlo Ancelotti attempts to change the course of the match by making his eyebrow dance seductively, but Mourinho's smothering ego has rendered it powerless. 

109' -- Chelsea goalkeeper Ross Turnbull realizes that even he doesn't know who Ross Turnbull is.

114' -- Jose Mourinho texts Roman Abramovich: "LOLing so hard right now."

117' -- Samuel Eto'o continues his tribute to Didier Drogba by flopping around like a fish in sand. He briefly considers wearing Drogba hair before realizing such a thing does not exist anywhere outside of Didier's head.  

125' -- Referee Wolfgang Stark heeds Tom Henning Ovrebo's advice by ignoring all penalties in Chelsea's favor. Also by eating at a quaint little London restaurant called T.G.I. Fridays. 

129' -- Ricardo Quaresma arranges for a skywriter to  to remind Inter and former loan destination Chelsea of his existence by filling the sky above the stadium with his name in giant letters, not taking into account that it's night time and no one really cares about him anymore.

132' -- Nicolas Anelka continues to be useless. 

136' -- Jealous of John Terry, Lucio, and Kalou's fauxhawks, Yuri Zhirkov decides to give himself one, as well. Just not on his head.  

141' -- Having been sent off earlier, Didier Drogba returns to the pitch to halt the match and emphatically declare, "This is a disgrace! A f***ing disgrace! First of all, I didn't deserve to get sent off. Total f***ing disgrace. Then there were all the times Inter players dragged me down like I was their prom date and we were in a hotel room. Colossal f***ing disgrace. Then I'm pretty sure Kalou used my deodorant. Again. That's disgusting and a f***ing disgrace..."

Photo: Getty Images

First of all, congrats to this video on being the 4,000th DTotD to feature Drowning Pool's "Bodies" as its soundtrack.

I'm not really sure why these two girls felt this tangle-up was worth Greco-Roman wrestling over, other than the fact that it seems young American female footballers have a ferocious bloodlust that must be fed every match. And this, my friends, was feeding time.

I also like how the referee's assistant runs up and waves his flag at them instead of actually breaking up the fight. He knows better. 

Cagliari have lost three of their last four matches, which has apparently caused the club to start freaking out and offering drastic ticket promotions. Now, before you jump to any conclusions, Cagliari are currently in ninth place in Serie A -- right where they finished last season and better than they were in the four previous -- and attendance is only down slightly on the year. Yet, for this Sunday's match against Lazio (for which tickets are still available!), if Cagliari lose, all fans in attendance will be reimbursed.

Cagliari manager Massimiliano Allegri doesn't seem too worried about people cashing in on that offer, though:

“The fans will not have to ask for a refund after the Lazio game. They will be satisfied with the team."

Well alright then. But if Cagliari do lose to Lazio, all fans in attendance at the next home game will not only get a full refund, but all the cash they can grab out of the owner's wallet and a voucher for a free back rub. 

Photo: Getty Images

Sevilla and CSKA Moscow were all even -- 2-2 on aggregate, both sides with an away goal -- when CSKA's Keisuke Honda blasted a free kick right at goalkeeper Andres Palop in the 55th minute. Palop deflected the ball up and into the top corner of his own net, giving the Russian club what would be the deciding goal. After the match, Palop tried to stave off the potential threat of an angry mob of Sevilla supporters tearing him limb from limb by issuing an apology.

From Goal:

"I feel obliged to apologize. When so many people were hopeful, I must ask forgiveness. Today was an important day and I have failed, so I will ask forgiveness a thousand times," the veteran 'keeper is quoted as saying by AS.

"We try to give joy to the fans, it is our duty to do our best but now I am obliged to offer an apology.

"It was a powerful shot which caught me off-guard, it was a little strange, but there are no excuses."

He was going to conclude his apology by saying, "Please don't throw eggs at me all summer, I'm highly allergic" but he thought that was implied in the "I must ask forgiveness" part. 

Video of Palop's deflection fail right this way...

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All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

Flamengo striker Vagner Love enjoys going to funk parties in the dangerous favelas. Which is why he needs bodyguards with massive guns, you see. [Xinhua]

The 10 most magnificent footballer popstars. [The Spoiler]

Cameroon footballer beat up all the fans he could after a match (with video). [Digital Journal]

Steven Gerrard: A history of violence. [Republik of Mancunia]

And Man United aren't happy about his latest reprieve. [Guardian]

Norway's Tippeligaen might be better at promos than at football. [The Offside]

Champions League final match ball unveiled. And it looks just like a Champions League match ball.  [Original Winger]

Hull have a new, scary looking manager. [Mirror]

Gigi Buffon: Real life Mel Gibson character. [Kickette]

AEG won't be pushed around by no MLS players. [Unprofessional Foul]

The Golden Pep in trouble for calling referee a liar. [FourFourTwo]

Loss of Davey Becks good for England? [Caught Offside]

Loss of Davey Becks bad for straight women. [Studs Up]

David Beckham's Achilles surgery was a success and now he's got six months of rehabilitation ahead of him as he considers offers to become a TV pundit or England's World Cup mascot. Meanwhile, at least one person has been spending their time thinking up a word that rhymes with "Goldenballs."

Yes, Britain's poet laureate, Carol Ann Duffy, has taken the time to write a poem marking this momentous occasion in the world's history. So settle down into a oversized armchair with a glass of port and take it in.

ACHILLES BY CAROL ANN DUFFY

Myth's river - where his mother dipped him, fished him, a slippery golden boy flowed on, his name on its lips.

Without him, it was prophesied, they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats, spices, silver songs...

But when Odysseus came, with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the battlefield, the crowd's roar,

And it was sport, not war, his charmed foot on the ball...

But then his heel, his heel, his heel...

The rarely used comparisons between sport and war, an injury to a part of the body actually named after a figure of Greek mythology, mentions of how the ladies love them some Becks -- this thing pretty much wrote itself. The only way it could have been more perfect is if David's surname was "Churchill" and he liked to carry roses and violets around. 

Photo: Reuters