These Ten Things: Highlights of the college football week that was
Every Monday, Eye on College Football's Tom Fornelli looks back at 10 things that stood out to him over the college football weekend -- everything from the awesome to the just plain stupid. Mostly stupid.
I think it's fair to say that the latest weekend of college football lived up to its lack of hype. There was only one game between ranked opponents, and while Georgia and South Carolina put on an entertaining game, everything else was rather ordinary. That's not to say there weren't close games, or even entertaining games, but there weren't any other good games --games where both teams played well for an entire 60 minutes.
Maybe I'm asking for too much, or maybe I'm suffering the side effects of watching at least part of every Big Ten game that was played, I don't know. I just know that I'm happy the third week of the season is in the books and behind us. But before I say goodbye, I'll go over the true highlights of the weekend.
The stuff that doesn't show up in the box score.
1. Bret Bielema morphs into a dog really easily.
Arkansas looked pretty good in its 49-28 win over Texas Tech in Lubbock, and I know the Razorbacks rushed for 438 yards and seven touchdowns, but there's only one thing from that game that really sticks in my memory.
And it's this.
That's just something you cannot unsee after laying your eyes on it. Every time Bret Bielema looks down at his play sheet, or just to check out something on the ground, all I'm going to see is a dog in sunglasses. So, thanks for that, Nick Pants.
2. Hey, you tried, and at the end of the day that's what counts.
BYU improved to 3-0 on Thurday night, beating Houston 33-25 with Taysom Hill racking up 360 total yards and the Cougars' defense hitting anything that moved (seriously, I'm pretty sure BYU defenders were tackling fans and vendors, too). The play of the game, however, was made by Houston defensive back Trevon Stewart.
Just a little late on that one, bud.
3. To be fair, both sides of the field look exactly the same.
If you didn't watch Duke and Kansas this week, you made the right decision because it was a football game instead of a basketball game, and it was an incredible blowout with the Blue Devils knocking off the Jayhawks 41-3. But if there's anything Kansas can take solace in, it's that they weren't the only team to do something stupid during the game.
From KUSports.com:
It was a comedy of errors for the Jayhawks, who were flagged seven times, turned it over twice and even struggled to down a perfect punt from senior Trevor Pardula inside the 5-yard line, despite getting to it before it reached the end zone and having four guys in the area to cover it. In the “did-that-really-just-happen” department, the teams even lined up on wrong sides of the field for the kickoff that followed freshman running back Shaun Wilson's final touchdown.
In the defense of both teams, nobody else was paying attention to what was happening in the game by then, so why should they?
4. It's fun to get free things.
One of the perks of being a college football writer is the free stuff you get in the mail once in a while. Every year schools come up with new ways to get your attention in Heisman Trpohy campaigns, and this week I received one of the more creative gifts of my Getting Free Swag career.
It came from Nebraska, which is hyping running back Ameer Abdullah for the Heisman this year. The campaign is called "Fear Ameer," but what Nebraska did was they used the fact that Abdullah's initials are A.A. and that he wears the number eight to send out an eight-pack of special Nebraska AA-size batteries.
It's a great idea because it's not just a campaign I'm going to remember, but it's a gift I can actually use! No offense, Louisville, but that Teddy Bridgewater notepad you sent me last year didn't really come in handy because I have a digital recorder and a laptop. But these batteries? Well, the remote doesn't work itself.
Now I just have to hope these schools don't realize I am not a Heisman voter. Shh, don't tell them.
Gunner Kiel lived up to the long-delayed hype. (USATSI)
5. Gunner Kiel finally saw the field.
Cincinnati finally decided to start its 2014 season Friday night after taking the first two weeks off, and that meant that Gunner Kiel made his long-awaited debut. If you aren't familiar with Kiel, he was a five-star quarterback in the 2013 recruiting class. The kid from Indiana originally committed to Indiana, which was a huge coup for Kevin Wilson, but eventually he would decommit from the Hoosiers and commit to LSU.
Then Kiel changed his mind again and decommitted from LSU, returning to his home state and committing to Notre Dame. Kiel would actually enroll at Notre Dame, but during his first year on campus, he announced he was transferring and ended up at Cincinnati.
On Friday night he finally played, and he played well.
Kiel threw for 418 yards and six touchdowns against Toledo as Cincinnati won 58-34. While the Toledo secondary certainly had something to do with Kiel's final line, it was just nice to see the kid actually playing football, and the traits that made him a five-star quarterback were certainly evident.
I just hope he doesn't transfer again before next Saturday.
6. I don't think that word means what you think it means, Georgia Tech.
You cannot be a college football program without a cool Twitter hashtag. It's simply impossible. If you don't have a specialized hashtag, how are you going to spread your #BRAND?
Georgia Tech's hashtag this year, however, helps prove why the school is called Georgia Tech and not Georgia Lit.
"Together we swarm." As opposed to swarming solo? A swarm is defined as a large group of insects, or in verb form, it's to move somewhere in large numbers. So by definition, you cannot swarm alone. You have to swarm together.
So you can just roll with #SWARM, Georgia Tech, and you'll save yourself 10 characters in each tweet. Twitter only gives you 140 of them at a time, Tech. You have to cherish each and every one of them like they're yards on the football field.
7. We call this a Rutgers Tan.
This is one way to celebrate Rutgers' first Big Ten conference game.
Now, let me help you out a bit here, Rutgers bro. I know that Rutgers is located in New Jersey, and that in New Jersey you actually have a coastline. That means beaches, and that means tanning.
But you're in the Big Ten now. The Big Ten doesn't do the beach, man. Oh sure, it has some Great Lakes, but they aren't for tanning. They're for polar bear plunges and maybe going out on your boat for the three days of the year that are warm enough. The only tans you're allowed to have in the Big Ten are the farmer tan or no tan at all.
Now it's your first day, so we'll let it slide. But you show up to the next game in at least four layers of clothing or Jim Delany might just reconsider this whole thing.
8. Charlie Strong is going to dismiss the coin toss.
Texas played well enough to win against UCLA on Saturday night, even if it fell short in the end, but we all should have known the Longhorns would lose as soon as the opening coin toss was settled.
You see, UCLA won the coin toss and then did the right thing. It chose to defer. That's what you do. When you win the toss, you defer. If you loss the toss, you take the ball.
That's not what Texas did.
After UCLA deferred, the referee turned to Texas' captains and waited for them to tell him that they wanted the ball, but instead he was told that Texas wanted to kick off.
Which meant that UCLA got the ball to start both the first half and the second half. I bet that extra possession wouldn't have been useful at all in a three-point loss.
9. Well, technically the man is right.
As has been the case all too often, things did not go well for Illinois this weekend. The Illini went on the road to play Washington and lost 44-19 thanks in large part to three turnovers, two of which were returned for touchdowns (both by Shaq Thompson, who was one touchdown shy of out-scoring Illinois on his own).
After the game, Illinois coach Tim Beckman wanted you to know that if it wasn't for all those points Washington scored, the Illini would have been right there at the end!
Now, the man isn't wrong; his math adds up. If Washington didn't score those 21 points, it would have only won 23-19. I'm not sure why Beckman doesn't want to remove the fourth touchdown that would have allowed his team to actually win the game, but I suppose that's between him and his players.
10. Papa Butt.
Papa Butt.
Papa Butt.
I'm 33 years old. I'll be 34 in a few more weeks. I can be 75 and the fact Michigan has a tight end named Jake Butt would still make me giggle. And his dad having a personalized jersey that says Papa Butt will still be funny long after I'm dead.
Now I just have to write a script about the Butt family that's just like the Smurfs, but with Butts.
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