Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Fri May 09, 2008 1:00 pm EDT

NBA.com's playoff nickname generator

By J.E. Skeets

Well, this is awfully embarrassing. I just plugged my name into NBA.com's new nickname generator and I was presented with this: J.E. "The Candystriper" Skeets. Yep. The Candystriper. Apparently, my goal is to make my opponent feel pleasant. Need help with that rebound, Deron? Here, let me grab that for you. Ooh, that looks like it hurt, Chauncey. We better stretch you out. And yes, Kevin, I'd love to help brush your teeth at half. The Candystriper. Just brutal. But what about you? Let's hear your playoff nicknames below.

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112 Comments

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  1. Kris P
    1. Posted by Kris P Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:53 pm EDT

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    ha ha well at least you had a good one mine is kris "the flat tire"platfoot
  2. Mad Bladder
    2. Posted by Mad Bladder Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:51 pm EDT

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    wow.
    Where Aaron "EASILY BRUISED" L. happens?
    How do they know me so well?
  3. Jamie Mottram
    3. Posted by Jamie Mottram Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:28 pm EDT

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    Where "Lashes" happens.
  4. b.escueta
    4. Posted by b.escueta Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:00 pm EDT

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    Where Bob "EXCALIBER" Escueta happens.
  5. Juan G
    5. Posted by Juan G Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:16 pm EDT

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    "Rat Phunk"...
  6. idizzle
    6. Posted by idizzle Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    Shake n' Shove........it's better than Candystripper
  7. goathair
    7. Posted by goathair Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:10 pm EDT

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    The fad
  8. idizzle
    8. Posted by idizzle Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    Ha, I also got "Drainage Ditch", "Pass the Salt" and "Barkeep".
  9. doneycat
    9. Posted by doneycat Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    I'm "The Pancreas". What can that mean? Because you can remove the pancreas and still live? Integral part of the nervous system? The organ in the body that does the little things that don't show up in boxscores? I know that the pancreatic cancer is real bad. That *bleep* will mess you up.
  10. Chris V
    10. Posted by Chris V Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:32 pm EDT

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    Tenderloin fool.
  11. super fly
    11. Posted by super fly Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:44 pm EDT

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    the NBA playoffs: where Brain "B-Scab" Scalibrine happens
  12. super fly
    12. Posted by super fly Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:44 pm EDT

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    Ball Don't Lie: "Where J.E. "The Symphony" Skeets happens."
  13. baller13zg
    13. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Where Baller "Napkin" 8184198 happens.
  14. baller13zg
    14. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Tried again and got "Margarine"... guess that stinks...
  15. PlanetMars
    15. Posted by PlanetMars Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:25 pm EDT

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    "The Scarlett Gopher" wtf? lmao
  16. baller13zg
    16. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Kelly "The Cop" Dwyer. LOL
  17. Sky P
    17. Posted by Sky P Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:26 pm EDT

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    "Mr. Flush" - Sounds about right, as I do have a mild case of IBS.
  18. baller13zg
    18. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    "Two knees"... what the heck? as opposed to three or four? I can stay healthy? What?
  19. baller13zg
    19. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Plugging in NBA stars right now...
    LeBron "Belly" James
    Kobe "Superfrothy" Bryant
    Chris "The Hydrant" Paul
    Tim "Lake Michigan" Duncan
    Chauncey "Easily Bruised" Billups
    Steve "See-Thru" Nash
    No joke, I didn't make any of these up. LOL. Interesting - Garnett and Rondo both came up as "Hundred Dollar Bills". ... my personal favorite though is : Mike "The Pancreas" D'Antoni!
  20. Mash
    20. Posted by Mash Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:09 pm EDT

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    "Swoopy"
  21. Jay Busbee
    21. Posted by Jay Busbee Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:33 pm EDT

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    Jay "Sweet and Spicy" Busbee.
    This sucks.
  22. the REAL Headless Chicken
    22. Posted by the REAL Headless Chicken Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    The Ball
    if I use my real name and
    Pass The Salt!
    with these initials...
  23. matty k
    23. Posted by matty k Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:23 pm EDT

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    Engine Trouble?
    Ouch.
  24. baller13zg
    24. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    I'm going to plug in all 30 teams and see what I get. Yeah, I'm bored.
    Boston "Droolin" Celtics; New Jersey "Easily Bruised" Nets; New York "Margarine" Knicks; Philadelphia "Candystriper" 76ers (guess that's you, Skeets... but I'm stuck on the Knicks, so it's all good); Toronto "The Person" Raptors (!); Chicago "Drainage Ditch" Bulls (LOL); Cleveland "Pistachio" Cavaliers (never did like pistachio); Detroit "Smelly-oop" Pistons; Indiana "The Air Conditioner" Pacers; Milwaukee "Shake n' shove" Bucks; Atlanta "Lake Michigan" Hawks (?); Charlotte "Swoopy" Bobcats; Miami "SuperSlicer" Heat; Orlando "Bootslayer" Magic; Washington "Lashes" Wizards (good for you, J-Mott...)
    To be continued w/ the west shortly...
  25. baller13zg
    25. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    someone else do it it's taking too long

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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