Dirty TackleArshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part II
The gift to the world that is Andrei/ey Arshavin's official website once again gurgled up collections of reader submitted question and Arshavin answers for our eternal enjoyment. And if you liked our last foray into these supremely wonderful exchanges, then hold on to your brainstem because we're about to get back in it.
1. From mike81
My friends in Russia told me that you were also a singer. Is that true?
Arshavin: I recorded a single 2 years ago. “The football of my childhood” is a nice song about a boy with a dream of becoming a professional footballer.
OK, we knew about his ear-crippling karaoke on Russian TV, but a single? I need this. Now. (UPDATE: Arshavin's international mega-hit embedded below!)
5. From Nirosh
Hello, I am a Canadian, and a big Arsenal fan. I checked out the Arsenal/Birmingham game last October at the Emirates. And you scored the 3rd goal. Being Canadian, and being a big hockey fan, how do you feel about the Canadians dismantling the Russians 7-3 in the quarterfinals at the Olympics? Go Arsenal!!!
Regards,
Nirosh
Arshavin: How can one feel when the team he supports is losing?
Translation: Screw you, Nirosh.
7. From Matt
Hey Andrei, I have 2 questions for you
1) Who is your favorite player in the Premiership who does not play for Arsenal?
2) In your opinion, what is the most important attribute to have as a footballer?
Thanks very much, good luck with the injury and the rest of the season
Arshavin:
1. There are 2-3 people.
2. Speed, ability to see the pitch, technique
Oh, you wanted to know who those 2-3 people are? Well tough luck.
8. Hi, Andrey, I love arsenal and helicopters. My friend, Steve, said that he met you once and he said you were very nice but you smelt of coffee. Do you like coffee? He also said that he held your hand. If I met you please could I hold your hand, I promise it will be no longer than for 3 minutes. LOVE FROM ANTHONY, 28 ENGLAND.
Аrshavin: I don’t drink coffee at all.
Oh wow. This is...spectacular. Wow. First of all, I think Anthony might be one of the Kaka kids. Secondly, just wow. I'm at a loss.
11. From Kebes
Have you ever felt like hitting a referee?
Arshavin: Sometimes.
The honesty there is nice, yet still very unsettling. Start the countdown to an unfortunate referee taking an Arshavin karate chop to the throat.
12. From Lucky
Hi Andrey! You know I love football! And mostly because of you, I want to really thank you for that. But the problem is that I’m a girl, but I really love to play. A lot of people say that it’s a men's game. What shall I do? After all, I want to do it professionally. What do you think about girls playing football?
Arshavin: When girls like football, I think it’s ok. But I think that the level of women's football is too low to take it seriously.
Aw, there's the li'l sexist. I'm assuming he doesn't watch the women's World Cup for fear of laughing himself to do death.
17. From lozenchik
What do you think? Who plays better you or Igor Semshev?
Arshavin: Is it Igor Semshev asking? :)
Damn you, Igor Semshev!
7. From Lenchik
Hello Andrey! Are you a superstitious person? What do you think about Friday the 13th?
Arshavin: I don’t pay much attention to it; nothing terrible has ever happened to me on this day.
Arshavin laughs in the face of superstition! Friday the 13th is powerless to stop him.
8. From IFFA
Andrey, are you touchy?
Arshavin: No
Whoa, whoa, whoa, IFFA. What kind of "touchy" are we talking here? Like, creepy uncle touchy or "do greeting cards make you cry?" touchy? Either way, Arshavin's having none of it.
14. From Vitas
Andrey, what do you think about smoking. Do you smoke? If not, have you ever tried to?
Thank you and good luck!
Arshavin: When I was 15 or 16 years old I tried it. I do not smoke and I don’t approve of smoking especially by women.
Again with the different standards for the ladies. Although, to be fair, he just doesn't want women smoking because the outhouses on the edge of their husband's property in which he thinks they should be forced to live don't have very good ventilation.
18. From Anya
Hello, Andrey! Recently in an interview you were asked when the last time you cried was. If it’s not a secret, what can be a reason for you to cry? P.S. Do your muscles ache after the game? Your Fan from Chelyabinsk:)
Arshavin: There are many reasons why people can cry. Basically, it is so personal, that it is difficult to talk about it. Of course, my muscles ache after the games but as I become older, for some reason they ache less. Previously, I often had cramps in my legs after almost every game, now it occurs less frequently.
Arshavin is growing immune to human deficiencies!
And now for the quick-fire round:
20. From Ibrox
Andrey, have you watched “The Lost”?
Arshavin: No
22. From Africa
Hi A.A. Do you approve of prenuptial agreements?
Arshavin: No
Come on now, after what we've already heard from him, do you really think he'd agree to give women anything?
24. From Queen
Andrey, I’m curious what perfume you prefer?
Arshavin: Armani
25. From telekom12
Hi Andrey, do you think Arsene Wenger is a competent manager?
Arshavin: Yes
26. How does it feel when Drogba ties your shoelaces?
Arshavin: Funny
He didn't get "touchy" with you while he was down there, did he, Andrey?
Finally, to wrap things up, here are a couple questions from what I presume to be a numbered inmate at a hospital for the criminally insane:
28. From 72994 356791
Why football? There are so many other kinds of sports, but, of course, football is the best. You're just great and all the girls in our class are just crazy about you! Your true fan.
Arshavin: I started off playing checkers. When I realized that I won’t be able to become an International Grand Master, I had to leave it for football.
Genius. He wanted to be an International Grand Master at checkers. I love this man.
29. From 72988 09101112
Hi, how are you doing ?????????? How is Julia, kids ?????????? I keep on asking you questions but there has been no answers so far(((((((( ((((( Please answer at least this one))))))) P.S. YOU ARE THE BEST ))))))))))
Arshavin: I’m recovering. I hope that we’ll have a good match with Burnley this Saturday at the "Emirates". Julia and kids are on holidays in the United Arab Emirates.)
Alright, calm down there, 72988 09101112. He answered not one, but two of your questions. Now please relax and don't try to make a coat out of his skin.
P.S. I tried to run this through spellcheck but it made my computer cry.
Photo: Reuters