Like the Olympics, presidential elections and Bond sequels, the International Ice Hockey Federation’s rule book revisions come around every four years. This time, there are 86 proposals for 57 rules, which might seem like a lot, but the IIHF rulebook is actually the size of the Necronomicon. And twice as evil.
To remove the “cheater piece” of goalkeepers’ catching gloves
The “cheater piece” is an extension of the cuff of a goalie’s glove. As Razor Reaugh once noted: “It’s called a ‘cheater’! Nobody has a problem with that? This apparatus doesn’t protect anything, it just eliminates net.”
So this one makes sense. It could produce more goals, and not at the expense of player safety. Huzzah!
To double the penalty for goalkeeper interference to 2+2 minutes
Goalie interference is becoming the single most complicated call in hockey, which is saying something when Rule 48 exists. When to call it, when not to call it, when it’s incidental contact … it’s enough to make Tim Peel blow every single goalie interference call he’s ever attempted to whistle.
The idea that there should be stricter penalties for goalie interference is nice and all, but it empowers the netminder in ways he shouldn’t be empowered. Goalies draw calls. It’s what they do. Now, instead of a minor penalty or a goal kept off the board, he’ll have four minutes in which he can sit back, relax and watch his team on the power play.
Please don’t make this a thing, IIHF.
To penalize any deliberate grabbing, twisting or holding of an opponent’s head with a major penalty
“And he received a five-minute major for noogies …”
Not sure what the impetus is for this proposal, but the infraction would seem more in line with a 10-minute misconduct penalty than a 5-minute power play the head-locked team.
To forbid base drums at ice rinks in addition to air horns and whistles already mentioned in the current rule book.
Whistles and horns are used by game officials to signal stoppages in play. Oddly, we’ve never seen the action halted while the referee skated over and bashed a giant drum like he’s announcing the arrival of King Kong.
This one is … weird. Like the rumble of a bass drum is going to spook the players.
Isn’t hockey better when it sounds like this?
Are snare drums still OK?
That goalkeepers cannot freeze the puck if the shot originates from outside the blue line.
You know, for every base drum and 5-minute major for headlocks proposals, there are ones that make a lot of sense. How much would this forced play in the defensive zone result in turnovers on the forecheck, or miscues by the defense?
Make it so, IIHF.
To ensure the definition of an ice surface is a surface made of frozen water.
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW DARE THE IIHF NOT ALLOW THE ORANGE JUICE LOBBY TO MAKE INROADS INTO ARENA ICE MAKING! YOU FOOLS!