Remember: You're on a three-year, $12 million deal. Plus, you've got a sharp-lookin' jersey on, what with all the neat red and the sweet script. And hey, Blake Griffin's(notes) got your back — I mean, so long as you don't jeopardize his oral fixation. And don't forget that your alma mater, the mighty Providence College Friars, just posted consecutive victories over Top 25 teams for the first time in the last 12 years. (In related news: FRIARS, STAND UP.)
Best caption wins the exact Bummer Bear to make you feel just right again. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Paul Silas just can't win for losin', I tell you what!
Winner, Larry B.: After going 9-6, the city of Charlotte erected a stunningly lifelike statue of Paul Silas.
Runner-up, my name is Jason: "Come here, Stephen, give me a hug ... Calm down, it's all right. We'll get that turnover back ... Now, why don't you get back out there and shoot an ill-advised 3-pointer?"
Second runner-up, Robert C: "Free hot dog night?! Well, if that don't beat all!"