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Be very, very careful what you name your new golf club

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Bobby Jones used to call his putter "Calamity Jane." Now that's a fine name for a club. Trouble is, there aren't many that good -- and judging from the way that club naming is going these days, we're getting farther and farther away from that ideal.

Golf magazine has a fine article on the struggle that is the naming of new golf clubs, leading to clubs with names like Diablo, Rapture and Sumo. And it's as much art as commerce. From the article:

The biggest hurdle is finding a handle that’s available. If another major manufacturer hasn’t already claimed it, there’s a good chance a small-potatoes garage tinkerer has ... That’s what happens in a crowded market. Heck, drivers alone have swiped names from plants (the Black Cactus), spiders (the Black Widow), and swine (the Hog); dinosaurs (the Titanhawk), dictators (the Czar), and degrees (the PHD); mythology (the Sasquatch), oceanology (the Killer Whale), and gerontology (the Granddaddy).

Some companies, like Titleist, stick to more tried-and-true letters-and-numbers combos. The luckiest companies see their club's name enter the golfing lexicon, like TaylorMade's Rescue and Callaway's Big Bertha.

Still, the name isn't the be-all, end-all. Mark Christensen, Cleveland Golf's business unit leader for woods, scores the quote of the year: "If you have a club called the Turd, but it performs unbelievably, people will buy still buy the Turd."

All right, so have at it, folks. What would you name your dream club? And be sure to trademark it pronto; there are vultures out there willing to steal it at a moment's notice!

If you thought naming your kid was tough ... []

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