Peter Alliss really enjoyed giving his World Golf Hall of Fame Induction speech

So it's time to‑‑ I could waffle on for another four or five hours. I just want to say this: I think of it often because I did leave school early. I was quite bright, but I remember my last report which was sent home.

We had a headmistress that my modest school was called cross by house school. She was a Mrs.Violet Weymouth, and she was a short Welsh woman. She always had a cigarette dangling out of her mouth and the smoke used to trickle up here, and you could see where the smoke went. There was sort of a brown line up there. But she was‑‑ you didn't mess about with Mrs. Weymouth, I can tell you that. I'm always staggered today where I read that children go to school and beat up the teachers. They wouldn't have done that in my day, I'll tell you. But I remember the last report she sent back to my parents, and it went something like this: Peter does have a brain, but he's rather loathe to use it. His only interests appear to be the game of golf and Violet Pretty, a girl I liked. She never knew about Iris Baker, but they were the two that uced me to some of the ways of the world, for which I'll be eternally grateful. And although we were very young, I wish to God we could do it today.

I fear for his future were the last words she wrote on my report. So mom and dad died a long, long time ago, and if there is such a thing as heaven and if people do look down, well, mom, dad, here we are. Look at this lot. Look where I've been, look what I've done. Never worked very hard at it. But it's all fallen into place. Lovely family, lovely wife, looks after me, shouts a bit occasional. But they are remarkable. They put up with all my nonsense, and I love them dearly.

And Mrs.Weymouth, if you're there, (holds up middle finger).