Each week the Noise highlights 10 bold names who he believes are destined to torpedo your team leave egg on his face. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, post your Week 2 Lames in the comments section below.
Michael Vick, Phi, QB (70-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Bal
Badgered repeatedly last week against an average Browns defense, Vick was lucky he didn't leave C-Town folded up in a box. According to Pro Football Focus, 25 of his 61 dropbacks were under duress. Unsurprisingly, the added pressure caused him to make hasty throws, four of which connected with Cleveland defenders. Overall, he exhibited poor decision-making and Blaine Gabbert-like awareness. Vick, a little rusty after an extended layoff during the preseason, isn't completely to blame for his unsteady Week 1 performance. The Eagles offensive line couldn't protect the pocket from a group of handicapped sloths. Its dreadful execution better improve rapidly or the Philly pass game will again crumble. Baltimore absolutely declawed the Bengals Monday night, collapsing the pocket early and often. In total, Andy Dalton, blitzed 48.7 percent of the time, was a victim of four sacks. If the Eagles beef doesn't jell quickly it could be a long, frustrating afternoon for No. 7. In leagues where turnovers are heavily penalized, Vick is bench worthy in Week 2.
Fearless Forecast: 20-35, 234 passing yards, 2 passing touchdowns, 2 interceptions, 24 rushing yards, fumble lost, 19.1 fantasy points
Matchup: at SD
Those who gladly took on the risk and selected CJ2LAME in Round 1 are bleeding profusely. After posting 11 carries for four yards versus New England last Sunday, his supporters, convinced 2011 was an anomaly, fell on a collective sword. Embarrassingly, six of his touches went for zero or negative yards. Only his six receptions for 47 yards salvaged what was otherwise a disastrous season debut. And that was only in PPR leagues. It's the same old broken record for Johnson. The Titans offensive line, consumed whole by Vincent Wilfork, failed to sustain blocks. Meanwhile, the rusher, always swinging for the fences, didn't attack the line with much vigor, tapdancing in the backfield while looking for daylight. Outside of underneath coverage, the Chargers were very active at the point of attack versus Oakland. Darren McFadden was limited to a minuscule 2.1 yards per carry on 15 attempts. Considering Tennessee's run-blocking issues and the hostile environment, Johnson should ride the pine for owners with viable alternatives (e.g. C.J. Spiller).
Matchup: at Mia
Channeling the football ghost of Brian Westbrook, McFadden was a PPR nightmare in Week 1. His 13 receptions was the second-best mark in franchise history (Tim Brown holds the record with 14). However, his overall performance in standard formats wasn't quite as stellar. Yes, he finished with a very respectable 118 total yards, but he failed to find the end-zone and, as mentioned above, posted a ghastly YPC. Miami, once again, is a run defense to fear. Arian Foster notched a fine fantasy day last week, but, the 'Fins largely kept the Texans ground game, one of the league's best, in check. Foster and Ben Tate combined for only 2.7 yards per carry. Randy Starks, in particular, was an animal, responsible for four stops. Jared Odrick and Cameron Wake also weren't pushovers. Run DMC is a marvelous talent who can beat you in a variety of ways, but given the difficult matchup and question marks surrounding Oakland's offense as a whole, he could struggle on South Beach.
Fearless Forecast: 17 carries, 61 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 24 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 11.5 fantasy points
Torrey Smith, Bal, WR (58-percent started)
Matchup: at Phi
Smith's 2012 campaign started out with a "Bang!" On the Ravens' first play from scrimmage Monday night versus Cincinnati, Joe Flacco uncorked a bomb, connecting with the wideout on an explosive 52-yard play. Unfortunately, Smith disappeared after that. He hauled in just one more catch for five yards. Another uneven effort could be in the offing. Yes, Brandon Weeden's 5.1 passer rating was nearly equal to the number of prom dates that rejected The Noise in high school, but much of the rookie's struggles were due to the exceptional play of Nnamdi Asomugha and Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie. The stifling corners combined for four pass deflections, conceding just two receptions (16.7 catch percentage). Flacco's soaring confidence in the no-huddle is a plus, but a road matchup against arguably the league's best secondary is daunting. Expect Smith to sour.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 47 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.7 fantasy points
Matchup: at Sea
Inconsistency continues to be the norm for Dez. A centerpiece of the Dallas attack in the first half against New York, he stayed in the shadows after halftime, grabbing just one pass in the third quarter. His final line (4-85-0) was laudable, but his low target yield (5) and Kevin Ogletree's emergence are a bit worrisome. In many ways, he's the new Vincent Jackson, a completely unreliable performer on a week-in, week-out basis. This week in Seattle, expect the seesaw to sink. Corners Richard Sherman and Brandon Browner are one dynamic duo. Week 1 in 'Zona, the pair did a masterful job keeping Larry Fitzgerald under wraps. Sure Tony Romo is light years better than John Skelton/Kevin Kolb, but considering the secondary's lock-down attitude, the 'Hawks' raucous home crowd and Dez's vulnerability to vanishing, he is a highly suspect option in Week 2. As Jerry Jones admitted this week, the young wideout, "Has to get better at everything he does."
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 38 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6.8 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 2 LAMES
TEAM HUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK
Reader Record: 1-6 (14.3%)
Can't get enough Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston, Scott Pianowski, Dalton Del Don and "The Noise?" Listen to The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 p.m. PT/8 p.m. ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio
- American Football
- Sports & Recreation
- Michael Vick
- Andy Dalton