TUPATALK: Baseball's rich tradition of humor
I suppose hardening one's derriere muscle by sitting on a hard bench for long hours during a baseball season is one way to soften one's head to a wealth of random thoughts.
Perhaps that's why the Great American Pastime's history has pepped up the game's tradition and injected humor to balance the gritty, grimy, spike-cutting intensity aspect of the battle.
Some of the more famous water-cooler Platonists and bullpen Benjamin Franklins have been Bob Uecker, Yogi Berra, Satchel Paige, Lefty Gomez, Casey Stengel and Leo Durocher.
Following are a few samplings:
LEO DUROCHER
"Nice guys finish last."
"If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, "Sorry, Mom,' but no one beats me."
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BOB UECKER
"If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And, I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter."
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YOGI BERRA
"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."
"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."
"The game isn't over until it's over."
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going because you might not get there."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
_
SATCHEL PAIGE
"Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common."
"Age is a case of mine over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."
"Work like you don't need the money.Love like you've never been hurt.Dance like nobody's watching."
"I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation."
_
CASEY STENGEL
"Been in this game one-hundred year, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before."
"If anybody wants me tell them I'm being embalmed."
"I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice."
"Mr. that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane."
"I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again."
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LEFTY GOMEZ
"I'm throwing as hard as I ever did, but the ball is just not getting there as fast."
"A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, 'Should I spike myself?'"
"I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish."
"The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield."
This article originally appeared on Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise: TUPATALK: Baseball's rich tradition of humor
