Survey says Eagles fans are the 2nd-most annoying in NFL? Are you kidding? We're No. 1!
So, this survey, study, publicity stunt or whatever it is comes out and concludes that Eagles' fans are the second-most annoying in NFL fandom.
What the (word deleted for decorum's sake) are they talking about? Second-most annoying? That’s, well, annoying to the point that it makes any self-respecting Eagles fan do something typical of our tribe, such as throw a snowball at Santa Claus.
Yeah, we did that, but it was a long time ago and, in our defense, he was a lousy Santa Claus.
And we were in a bad mood because the Eagles sucked that year, but not enough to secure the top pick in the draft − which would have resulted in O.J. Simpson playing at the old Vet and probably blowing out both knees on its carpeted concrete field, perhaps rendering him unable to (allegedly) commit what had to be a physically difficult (alleged) double homicide. So, we have to live with that, OK?
But I digress.
How can we possibly be the second-most annoying fans in the NFL? It makes absolutely no sense. We’re No. 1! And we know it.
OK, what brought this about is that some gambling website sent out a news release listing the most annoying fans in the NFL based on “research." What the site did was analyze social media posts by NFL fans referring to fans of other teams as annoying.
The results showed that the most annoying fans are Dallas Cowboys fans. Talk about an insult, coming in second to the Cowboys. It’s been a while since the Eagles have come in second to the Cowboys and, if I recall, we hoisted a Lombardi trophy more recently than the Cowboys. (Sure, they have more of them, but only because, as Eagles’ fans know, they cheated − and in those years, well, the Eagles had the likes of Marion Campbell and Rich Kotite as coaches, and they weren’t even the worst coaches they’ve had.)
The real flaw with this study, or whatever it is, is that Eagles’ fans should be considered exempt from such nonsense. We’re Hall-of-Fame level annoying, as far as fans go, and we shouldn’t have to be considered alongside the smug jerks who like the Cowboys.
More on Eagles fans: Have pity on Eagles fans: Why you must root for Philly in the Super Bowl (column)
Certainly, there’s a bit of rivalry involved here. We hate the Cowboys. As the saying goes, we’re fans of the Eagles and whoever is playing the Cowboys on any given Sunday, or Monday, or Thursday. Speaking of Thursday games, the nation should be thankful that the Cowboys play every Thanksgiving because then we don’t have to pay attention to them (and that jerk Jerry Jones) and we can spend more time arguing with our crazy relatives over turkey and pecan pie.
Sure, it goes without saying that Cowboys fans are annoying, but what have they done other than being smug jerks to earn it? Tell me. I don’t know.
Yet more: Philadelphia Eagles fans are the worst? So what? (column)
Have they ever pelted Santa Claus with snowballs? Have they ever pelted the Cowboys with snowballs? (Yeah, I know that doesn’t make much sense, but Eagles fans have thrown worse at our own team.) Have they ever cheered when Michael Irvin lay motionless on Vet Astroturf? Have they ever had to put a jail in their stadium?
Fun fact about the last thing: The first person to be incarcerated in the jail cell in the old Vet wasn’t even from Philadelphia. He was from Delaware, which is a whole different state. (Best part of that story is the guy was quoted as saying, “All right, guys, I’m a murderer. I killed four people.” (He hadn’t)
Now, I’m not going to list chapter and verse about how horrible Eagles fans are. Sure, we ran the best coach we’ve ever had out of town because he had the clock-management skills of a grizzly bear on cocaine – great movie, by the way – and then he went on to win two Super Bowls with the Kansas City Chiefs, the last one, earlier this year, against the Eagles, who should have won but the field sucked and we were robbed by the zebras. (There’s no evidence of that, but that was not defensive holding. Eagles’ fans know what I’m talking about.) Of course, having the best quarterback in the game, Patrick Mahomes, has something to do with Reid’s post-Eagles success, and that he now has an assistant coach who prevents him from taking all their timeouts in the first two minutes of the second half.
And we ran one of the best quarterbacks we ever had out of town, sending Donovan McNabb to, of all teams, the then-racist-titled Washington (racial slurs).
And we were once quarterbacked by a guy who pleaded guilty to torturing and killing dogs, and Eagles fans still welcomed and cheered him. (He did his time, but still...)
And we...
OK, I said I wasn’t going to do that.
Now that the Eagles are considered to be pretty good – several pundits and experts have them returning to the Super Bowl this season – fans of the team are free to be even more annoying, booing and complaining and moaning whenever the Eagles take a lead because we know, being the Eagles, they’ll find a way to blow it.
We are passionate fans, and it could be said the most knowledgeable in all of the NFL. We’re aware of our history and can remember when Pete Liske was our quarterback and once, in December 1981, threw six interceptions in one game against the Cowboys of all teams. (That the Eagles lost that game by a score of only 21-10 is a miracle on the order of the fishes and loaves.)
We’re annoying because we care. And we’re annoying because the rest of the NFL and the refs and weather and climate change, for all I know, are against us.
More than anything, we’re annoying because we represent the City of Brotherly Love and all that it stands for. That sounds counterintuitive, but, as they say, it is what it is. And if you're annoyed by that, tough. We just don’t care.
Columnist/reporter Mike Argento has been a York Daily Record staffer since 1982. He has also been a Philadelphia Eagles fan since well before then. Reach him at mike@ydr.com.
This article originally appeared on York Daily Record: Eagles fans are not the second-most annoying the NFL. We're No. 1!
