December 19, 2011
The holiday season is upon us and millions of boys and girls around the world are writing out their wishlists in the hopes that Santa Claus brings them everything they want. And footballers are no different. The following is a compilation of Blackburn defender Scott Dann's most desired items, which he compiled after suffering a ruptured testicle during last weekend's loss to West Brom.
-To not have a ruptured testicle.
-An electric razor.
-To not have everyone know that I have a ruptured testicle.
-To not have Soccernet making jokes involving my ruptured testicle and Steve Kean getting sacked.
-Lots of alcohol.
-For Steve Kean to get abducted by aliens.
-To not have anyone make up a fake wishlist with my name on it that repeats the phrase "ruptured testicle" over and over.
-Anything that isn't a second ruptured testicle.
-A tie clip.
-Seriously, this is awful.