Ross Chastain delivers, but don't forget Joey Logano's classic shot at the Harvicks | HEY, WILLIE!

HEY, WILLIE!

I read with interest your article about NASCAR driver retorts that should have made their way onto T-shirts. 

You cited several great quotes but you left out one of my all-time favorites from Joey Logano, directed at Kevin Harvick after an altercation. 

“His wife wears the fire suit in the family and tells him what to do, so it's probably not his fault!”

If I recall correctly, Kevin and Delana had shirts made with Joey's barb and sold them from the merch hauler the following week. 

GEORGE

HEY, GEORGE!

That happened in 2010 after Harvick spun Joey at Pocono. Joey had just recently turned 20, looked 15, and was taking a risk — back then, Kevin still had that narrow look to his eyes and was capable of going full Jack Torrance. Or nearly 'bout.

The Harvicks did indeed make and sell a slew of women’s T-shirts adorned with, “I wear the fire suit in the family,” with proceeds going to charity.

A couple weeks back, after Ross delivered a right hand to Noah Gragson’s face, then explained why, I suggested a “No-push policy” T-shirt should soon be available on Chastatin’s merch link at TrackHouse Racing’s website.

It’s not, which suggests the team is a little sheepish about their guy’s penchant for gravitating toward the bumpers and quarter-panels of others (how's that for diplomacy?).

HOWEVER … do your own search and you’ll see someone is indeed trying to capitalize on Ross the Boss and his current role as Reckless Ross. I assume they have all the trademark legalities worked out, right?

Meanwhile, I doubt there will be any groundswell for another slogan-inspired T-shirt after Ross’ post-wreck explanation for wrecking with Kyle Larson in Turn 1 at Darlington.

Said Ross: “I wanted to squeeze him.”

NASCAR QNA North Wilkesboro, Ross Chastain share spotlight at this week's All Star Race

ALL STAR RACE What is the format? Which drivers are in? Plus a North Wilkesboro refresher!

HEY, WILLIE!

I took the time to email NASCAR and TrackHouse racing concerning their idiot driver, Ross Chastain.

I hope every driver goes out of their way to cause problems for this clown the rest of the season. He has no business in NASCAR.

The best drivers race sprint cars on dirt. That’s way better racing in my opinion.

PETE IN WISCONSIN

HEY, PETE!

Unless you’re a Kyle Larson fan, you have to be enjoying the Ross Chastain Show these days.

I’d love to be a horsefly on the awning out there in the owner/driver RV lot, checking out the scene whenever Ross ventures out to toss a citronella log in the fire pit.

HEY, WILLIE!

How do you unhook a shark and keep your hand?

And what do you do when a snake is swimming toward your boat? 

GORDO

HEY, GORD!

1. If you get him near the surface, get your picture. Then tighten your drag fully and give the rod a jerk. Your line should break off where the leader meets the hook.

2. Sell your boat.

HEY, WILLIE!

There were 259 players picked this year in the NFL Draft. What are the historical percentages for a drafted player to play on Sundays?

LUTHER

HEY, LUTHER!

A minor burst of research indicates roughly a third of those draft picks either won’t make the game-day roster or might make it and not stick long enough to get dirty.

Statistically speaking, the short-timers are mostly picked in rounds five through seven. Exceptions are found on both ends of the draft, but our research window, which more closely resembles a mail slot, has slammed shut.

HEY, WILLIE!

I guess the golf bigwigs will be sweating like butter off a duck this week if a LIV golfer wins the PGA Championship.

That has to make you media guys giddy with anticipation.

BG

HEY, B!

Among the LIVers, I reckon Brooks Koepka and Dustin Johnson are the two best bets to contend.

And since we’re here, let’s again applaud the rational decision to move the PGA Championship from August to May. There’s no more “afterthought” vibes, and while moving from summer to spring might take some traditional courses out of the future rotation, it brings others into play.

This week, it’s a classic major venue — broad-shouldered, thickly nestled Oak Hill in the great Walter Hagen's hometown of Rochester, N.Y.

Also, since I know you’re wondering, you can find a “butter from the duck” T-shirt out there, as well as a sweat-themed shirt inspired by the late, great George Carlin: “Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

With that …

— Reach Ken Willis at ken.willis@news-jrnl.com

This article originally appeared on The Daytona Beach News-Journal: Unlike Ross Chastain, Joey Logano, Harvicks got some T-shirts | NASCAR