We don’t dabble in real estate too much here at the Shutdown Corner, but we just could not help ourselves with this listing that came on the market — and onto our radar.
Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has put his house on the market and you don’t even have to be a MVP-winning quarterback to afford it. Seriously, this is Charlie Whitehurst-level cheap!
Rodgers’ four-bedroom, three-bath, 4,012-square-foot abode (via Redfin) in Suamico, Wis., is up for sale. The price: $424,900. Amazing! That’s barely $100/square foot, which New Yorkers are currently vomiting at as they read this. Green Bay real estate, baby.
(Don’t worry, Packers fans: Rodgers is not requesting a trade, despite the Packers’ free-agent exoduses. At least we don’t think so. Oh, and that house that burned down in the insurance commercial? Fake house.)
It appears Rodgers bought the real place (for more than he’s listing it, mind you) in 2005, the year he was drafted, although there’s no indication if he’s been staying there ever since. Maybe until he met Olivia Munn. Or maybe he knew she was the one when he first brought her back to what appears to be a very nice but quite moderate and understated Midwestern abode … and she still liked him. That’s love.
But back to the house a minute. What’s not to like? It’s close to Lake Michigan, has good schools in the area, has no neighbors behind the house, a very mowable lawn (0.77 acres) and is a 15-minute drive without traffic (LOL, Wisconsin humor) to Lambeau Field. What the heck else do you need? Plus, your Green Bay cred would go up by a factor of about 6,000,000 if you dropped an occasional “I bought my house from Aaron Rodgers” into your otherwise standard repartee at social gatherings.
Maybe Martellus Bennett, that rare Packers free-agent acquisition, needs a place to stay. Boom — already NFL-equipped with a “built-in sound system,” a “huge glass shower” (good for larger men such as Bennett) “and extra room for a gym/work-out” to keep even a Draconian task master such as Mike McCarthy pleased.
Sadly, if you dig into the specs more, a few flaws show, such as: “The closest restaurant is Subway.” That’s a bummer that falls under the same caveat emptor umbrella as finding out someone died in the residence previously. And if you’re a Whole Foods fan, we’re sorry — that’s a 134-mile trip. Offseason visits only probably. But it’s also a mere nine miles to the nearest Starbucks, so there’s proof it’s not far from a few highfalutin suburbanites, for what that’s worth to you.
Look, we don’t know why Rodgers is moving, and we have no idea if it’s a nice neighborhood or not. Heck, it could have downturned since the mid-2000s and be known for hosting key parties every weekend for all we know. But we’d be willing to buy this puppy, sight unseen, if we had any real reason to move to Brown County. Just for the story alone. Heck, maybe we’ll throw down for it and rent it out on Airbnb as a Packers Pad of sorts.
Yes, you too can live in a star quarterback’s house … at a long snapper’s price! Damn, maybe this real estate journalism thing is for us after all.
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