Big League Stew - MLB

This and every weekday a.m. during baseball season, let's rise and shine together to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts in the Minneapolis Metrodome, where Lt. Frank Drebin of Police Squad sneaked into the ballpark, assumed the identity of umpire Todd Tichenor and just started throwing everybody out.

Game of the Day: Red Sox 3, Twins 1

All thumbs: First went Mike Redmond(notes) of the Twins, then Ron Gardenhire, his manager. Later, in the same inning, Jason Varitek(notes) was told to leave. In a few moments, Tek's manager, Terry Francona, made it a four-peat.

By the time he was finished, umpire Todd Tichenor had thrown every last person out of the Metrodome, so he and his fellow blues had to finish the game themselves. OK, that last part isn't true. But four guys is a lot.

"Everybody handles things differently," Francona said. "It looked like he had his hands full today. Their guys were getting ejected, we're getting [ejected]. That's probably not your goal of the game."

What got Tichenor, a 32-year-old fill-in, all riled up in the first place?

'You can't throw an umpire out of the game!': Redmond, who always has seemed one of baseball's nicer guys, argued a close play at the plate that went the Red Sox's way. Though he erupted emotionally, Redmond argued without swearing or touching the umpire — yet he was gone in seconds with Gardenhire close behind (VIDEO).

Redmond said he knew how important it was for him to stay in the game because Joe Mauer(notes) already was in the lineup as the DH — meaning the Twins lost the DH spot when Mauer had to finish the game behind the plate.

"I couldn't believe he threw me out, honestly," Redmond said. "I don’t go out there, ever, to get thrown out. Especially knowing that Joe's DHing. I can't get thrown out. I really can't get thrown out. I didn't swear at him. I didn't do anything. He just had a short fuse I guess."

The Red Sox didn't get along with Tichenor any better. After Josh Beckett(notes) noticeably complained using body language about a close pitch, Varitek turned around to keep Beckett from getting into trouble, Tichenor was ready with peace terms: You're out, Tek! Francona, who didn't want to miss the fun, came out and argued until he was gone, too. Odd way for Varitek, who also hit two home runs, to leave the Metrodome behind.

Tichenor did not comment, but crew chief Jerry Layne defended Tichenor's actions.

"Major League Baseball will review the report that Todd puts together," Layne said. "I don't know what was said. I just know it was very emotional at the moment. … The umpire did his job."

It seems Tichenor has a history of confrontation in his brief officiating career, as the possibly unfair and misleading series of photographs shows:

Peace?: In 2008, Tichenor throws out Padres manager Bud Black after he can't tell that Bud put up two fingers indicating a double switch. This really happened. Gaslamp Ball also had a funny interpretation of the event.

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Don't point!: In the same game, Padres acting manager Craig Colbert (not to be confused with former Padres slugger Nate Colbert) also gets tossed because Tichenor obviously loves doing things multiple times.

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Mess with DeJesus: After a wild pitch in the ninth inning of a 2008 game, Kansas City's David DeJesus(notes) is called out at the plate by Tichenor, who surely would have thrown DeJesus out of the game for arguing except that the game was over.

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Talk to the hands: This time, it's the player who doesn't want to hear any more from Tichenor, who just wants Cardinals slugger Troy Glaus(notes) to give him a reason — any reason at all! — to toss him from a game this past July.

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You're not the boss of me: Not only does Tichenor dislike that Angels manager Mike Scioscia gets in his face during spring training '07, he really hates that Scioscia is 16 inches taller. Hey, Ruben Gotay(notes)! Ross Gload(notes)! You're out, too!

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C'mon, blue!: Come to think of it, Tichenor doesn't like that you're reading this post. You're out, too! Before you go, check out the most recent Create-a-Caption to lend your own voice to the Tichenor ejections. Oh, and there were four other games Thursday, too:

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Feelin' Rundown (Tichenor threw all these guys out, too):

Indians 2, Rays 1: These are dark times for the Rays, who over the past week have lost their starting double-play combination, closer and one of their top starting pitchers to injury. Oh, and they've lost every game in Cleveland since who knows when (actually since September 2005).

On Thursday, they dropped their 17th in a row on Lake Erie, despite left-hander David Huff(notes) coming in with a 17.55 ERA and a 2.85 WHIP. After a 2-hour, 40-minute rain delay in the fourth (does it rain every day in Cleveland?), the offense hardly dented the vaunted (sarcasm) Tribe bullpen.

Dark times, dark times.

"Maybe next time we come in, we'll have some candles and holy water," Rays manager Joe Maddon said. "I have no good explanation for this."

At this rate, maybe the Rays should skip the theatrics and just call a priest.

Orioles 5, Tigers 1: Did you remember to activate Luke Scott(notes) from the disabled list? Because he has three homers and seven RBIs in the past two games. Nolan Reimold(notes) went deep again, too. The Orioles don't need Matt Wieters(notes). He can just stay at Triple-A, right?

Dodgers 2, Cubs 1: If you're going to rely on comedian Bobby Scales(notes) to rescue you too many times, he's going to fail sooner or later. Dodgers lead the 2008 NLDS 4-0 now. Zambrano suspended six games for his silliness.

D-backs 5, Braves 2: Dan Haren(notes) has to be the best .500 pitcher in the league. Unlucky guy. Justin Upton(notes) of the baseball Uptons has hit in 30-of-33 games. Chris Young down to .169.

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