ESPN’s Zach Lowe ranks the Boston Celtics 15th overall in annual League Pass rankings

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It’s that time of year when people make their choices about which teams they will follow around the league besides their usual rooting interest, and while most of you reading this will already be watching the Boston Celtics, it may surprise to hear that renowned ESPN analyst Zach Lowe has ranked the Celtics squarely in the middle of the pack in his annual League Pass rankings.

Don’t take it too seriously, however — Lowe himself says they are “our dumbest NBA preseason tradition,” after all — they are merely the ESPN analyst’s subjective perspective on what he calls their “watchability scores, derived from an ancient formula Bill Simmons claims appeared before him when he ingested too many TB12 supplements.”

It is comprised of how much people care about a team, the star power, style of play, other minutiae, and potential for unintended comedy, according to Lowe.

“Boston’s offense wasn’t quite the “your turn, my turn” blah-fest critics made it out to be last season,” opines the ESPN writer. “The Celtics ranked ninth in isolations and in the middle in passes.”

Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown are scorers first, but both advanced as playmakers — especially Tatum. How much more they grow that part of their games will determine how far they lead Boston.”

Boston’s longest-tenured Celtic also appears on Lowe’s radar; “Marcus Smart’s hustle has long overshadowed his sound passing, and he gets his chance as undisputed starting point guard.”

“He is prone to bonkers shot selection that has at times annoyed teammates — see the Orlando bubble — and he must modulate that now,” he adds.

Lowe also sees the playmaking chops of its potential double-big starting lineup as key to unlocking some of its best potential.

“A perhaps uncomfortable truth for Tatum and Brown is that Boston’s offense functions best — and they get easier shots — when a little more of it runs through their big-man facilitators. Boston may start two in Al Horford and Robert Williams III, and whether that alignment contains enough playmaking and spacing will be a bellwether.”

He also has some feels about the broadcast crew.

“Mike Gorman is a deserving Hall of Famer,” rightfully observes Lowe. “Brian Scalabrine is incisive and funny. His objectivity annoys Boston fans used to Tommy Heinsohn’s throaty homerism, but it’s the right pivot.”

“As Nikola Jokic lit up the Celtics in Boston last season, Scalabrine compared Jokic to Larry Bird and finally just started laughing after Jokic baskets. The adoration irked fans so much, Gorman acknowledged on air that they were getting hammered on social media. Ignore it, guys!”

He also closed with some observations about the team’s aesthetics.

“The green jerseys are the best in sports, period; the league should mandate Boston start games down 5-0 when they wear their godawful generic black alternates” wrote Lowe.

“The parquet court is No. 2, behind only the Los Angeles Lakers’ floor,” he finished.

We’ll agree to disagree on that last bit.

This post originally appeared on Celtics Wire. Follow us on Facebook!

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