Dooley’s Dozen: 12 New Year’s resolutions for the Gator Nation
When New Year’s resolutions come up, I am always reminded of the quote from satirist and Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker:
“New Year’s resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.”
Yep. Nobody ever resolves to eat more or drink more or be a worse person or exercise less.
Like me that year when I made the resolution to stop eating chicken wings (it was a problem). I went the next day to cover Florida’s bowl game 20 years ago and all they were serving in the press box was a big pile of chicken wings.
The resolution didn’t last and neither did Florida going to bowl games (burn).
Still, the Dooley’s Dozen offers 12 of them up for Gator fans everywhere as we try like heck to get a lot of you off the ledge.
No more buying jerseys with players’ names
Peeps, with the transfer portal being what it is, you are going to look silly in that jersey you paid too much for when the player you represent bolts for another school. In the SEC… and that school is on the schedule for next year. Umanmielen, Etienne, etc.
No more taunting teams that lose
It’s OK to celebrate a rival’s loss, just stay classy. You never know when it will come back to bite you. My wife hates when I am giddy about an FSU or Georgia (or Kentucky basketball) loss because she sees it as irrelevant to Florida’s success.
And not get too cocky after a win
I know that my saying that “Nobody suffers winning like Gator fans” does not apply here, but this is more for the fans who start screaming about winning the East after a win over Tennessee or “We’re back!” after a win over Utah.
Vow not to think you have the answers
Because a lot of times we don’t even know the questions that Billy Napier is trying to figure out. We don’t have access to practices or anything outside of a few press conferences. That said, we wouldn’t have a show on WRUF without dissenting opinions and I’m all for that.
So, we will listen to your answers even if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Not to take a loss personally
It’s like that Dr. Pepper commercial. It’s only one game. The team and the coaches did not look up your address and make sure you are miserable. Nobody attacked you or stole your retirement money or insulted your family or dropped a ball on purpose.
If you take it personally because you lost a huge bet, the number for help is 1-800-GAMBLER. I’m not kidding.
Stop buying into rumors
Man, if I heard one more Ed Orgeron or Kerwin Bell rumor, my head was going to explode like that scene in Scanners. Everyone is in the information game these days which leads to more bad information than ever.
We can all have wish lists, but this year we will all just let it play out. Are you with me?
We will not talk about the schedule
It’s rough. But this is the SEC and Florida might have painted itself into a corner with the non-conference games. But in the end, you can only play one game at a time.
So worry about Miami and let the rest of the schedule go for now. We’ll get to the rest later.
No more questioning the maturity of 18-to-21 year olds
We all need to get off the backs of any athletes in any sports. When a guy throws a shoe or spit on an opposing player, he’s going to hear it from enough people about the mistake he made. It becomes part of who he is and he has to live with it.
We all do dumb things until we… well… it depends on the person.
Not to complain about NIL and not be a part of it
It is what it is. And you can’t walk it back. So, all of us not wanting to contribute can’t be complaining about Florida being behind on NIL and then not being willing to help. I understand that some people can’t afford it and would rather spend money on something else.
But it does no good to complain about something that is not going away.
We will not put negative comments on social media
It’s one thing to criticize a play call or question Napier’s attention to detail. But going after players is wrong and it does no good. I can’t stress that enough. There is a long list of players who have left here because the heat from the fans on social media was ridiculous.
We will stop wanting coaches fired after every loss
We all should take a deep breath and think about how it affects a lot of people – including the children of the coaches – when they hear it. This is something that only applies to a vocal minority, but it has gotten out of hand.
We promise to stop.
We won’t divorce the Gators
It’s your school. It’s your team. It’s my school. It has been difficult for the last 41 games (17-24 record). We don’t know if there is light at the end of the Napier tunnel. But none of us should be filing. Who will get the kids?
Seriously, things need to get better and you want to be around when it happens.
Read more
Here’s what Florida football’s schedule looks like in 2024
Dooley’s Dozen: 12 things we hope Florida football got for Christmas
Dooley’s Dozen: 12 things that will be difficult to get used to in 2024
Dooley’s Dozen: 12 good Gators teams that should have played in bowls
Dooley’s Dozen: 12 things that went right for Florida football in 2023
Dooley’s Dozen: 12 reasons why this isn’t the low point for Florida football
Dooley’s Dozen: Grading Billy Napier’s 2nd year with Florida football
Follow
Follow us @GatorsWire on Twitter and like our page on Facebook to follow ongoing coverage of Florida Gators news, notes and opinions.
