Bowled over at Primrose Lanes, a restaurant with balls | Review
The smoked prime rib sandwich lands on our table like an unexpected bouquet of lush, crepe-delicate peonies in otherworldly pastel pinks, like beautiful, edible romance for the hungry foodie soul. Sawn in half, the layers of this 8-ounce mountain of thin-shaved beef showcase the colors of the griddled exterior and the rosy rare center.
It is a study in attention to detail.
“We slow smoke it, cool it completely overnight so it gets fully rested and then slice it,” says Jason Campbell, executive chef at Primrose Lanes Restaurant and Bowling Club, located in Orlando’s Milk District. “It’s shaved thin and stacked a particular way. We season it and sear it in beef fat, really, really fast, to keep that center the same color.”
Then they cut it in half, precisely so you can see that nice cook and all the steps that came before.
“This is a culinary orgasm,” my lunch companion tells me.
He’s an out-of-towner. He knows nothing of Primrose Lanes, of the $15 hot dog or (what has come to feel like) the incessant chatter about their prices since they opened in August.
“It’s $27,” I tell him.
“Worth every penny,” he fires back, then takes another bite. “Holy sh*t, this is good.”
It is. It is that good.
I, for one, am flummoxed by the chatter. The double-pattied O.K.C. smashburger, a stunner of a flavor bomb with house-done onions and the best pickle spear I’ve ever had (equal parts sweet and heat, they should sell these zingy gingery javelins by the jar in the pro shop.) has taken some heat for its $18 price tag, but you could easily build one for the same price at nearby Bad As’s Burgers where there’s no server, no DJ, no craft cocktail militia, no sports lounge, no bowling option…
I could go on, but I won’t.
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Bad As’s makes a killer burger, too, but Primrose Lanes is a different place altogether. And no, it’s not a bowling alley. It was a bowling alley. It’s now a restaurant with a bowling option. Maybe Team Market Group’s biggest mistake was leaving “Lanes” in the name and expecting people to be able to discern that while this place lovingly commits to honoring the Colonial Lanes it used to be via a stunning makeover full of noteworthy upcycling, it is now something different.
It could have been a self-storage facility. And I, for one, think this is a much richer addition to the neighborhood.
To their credit, the Primrose team has been fielding the feedback and making changes. They are still in their early stages. Seismic shifts are not uncommon at a restaurant in its infancy. One that’s about to happen as I type is a culling of the entree section, which is a shame for those of you yet to try the short rib pastrami & frites, a gorgeous, tender representation featuring a stellar salsa verde with the pop and snap of pickled mustard seeds. But they’re realizing their need to embrace the “but it’s a bowling alley!” mindset.
“The feedback on that dish is 100 percent good,” says the executive chef, “but we’re selling 30 of those a week compared to 240+ on the hot dogs, burgers, sandwiches.”
Primrose Lanes won’t have a shifting seasonal menu in the same way as Campbell’s previous gigs (Luke’s, The Ravenous Pig) did, but they’re beginning to have regulars now, and the team wants to have some room for creativity. As such, you may see those short ribs show up amid what will become weekend specials, along with fish collars (a Luke’s favorite), broiled oysters and other exciting things. Brunch, too, is about to go away. And the dining room-adjacent area that debuted as a coffee shop is now another nod to Colonial Lanes: The Celebrity Room.
“It’s what the sunken bar was called back in the day,” Campbell tells me. The Celebrity Room, which has its own bar and booths and a slew of TVs, is now something of a Vegas-style sports lounge. “All the sports are going; there’s a ticker with all the scores and different kinds of information. It’s fun; we’ll get a mix of guests coming in for the games, repping teams from both sides and enjoying food and drink in that environment.”
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It’s been going for about three weeks, and as football season amps up, it’s catching on, he says. The bar on this side serves the lanes, but guests can sit here, as well. Eventually, the TV-filled room will be available for buyout events like the Super Bowl or the Masters.
“Or you could get it for the Grammys or the Real Housewives reunion,” he says, chuckling. “Whatever you’re into, we’ll make it available.”
It’s another facet of the full experience Campbell finds most fun about the place. And it is fun. Drinks like the mezcal-and-grapefruit amalgam of the Big Ern or the bubbles-adjacent Porn Star (a missed naming opportunity for that hot dog, just sayin’) flirt with guests as they peruse a roster of eats that seem bowling alley but are undoubtedly elevated by the many thoughtful steps taken to get them from kitchen to plate.
The “funyun” fried onions, for example, are a hellaciously cool take on onion rings, whole spring onions, crackly with breading. The hash brown bites are a luxe edible set of children’s blocks, potato cubes held together with cheese, fried gorgeously crisp and slathered in garlic crema and smoked trout roe. (There’s a new chili-cheese version available, by the way, if you can’t get past the sound of the pins crashing.)
Many can, if the success of the raw bar options is any indication. Florida oysters from New Smyrna Beach outfits like Bass-co and Sharkbite are flying out the door. And the tuna tartare, with its surprising ginger zing, cuts through rich fish and avocado and brings high class to the “low rent” of deep-fried saltines on which to slather the stuff. It’s playful and speaks to Campbell’s own love of gas station garbage food and the Florida native’s penchant for divey, dock-ensconced oyster shacks.
Soon, there will be a new tower on the menu to join the nautical one, a feature for game days that will include all the good bowling alley-style fare and feed a small army while providing a balance to the classy front of the blue crab and oysters.
As for the price chatter, “That’s really how we see it,” says Campbell. “As chatter. We just need to make sure we’re putting out good quality to put up our dukes against it. It’s great quality. Does that come at a premium? Sometimes. But we pride ourselves in what we’re making. We know it’s good. We have confidence in it.”
They should.
If you go
Primrose Lanes: 400 Primrose Drive in Orlando; 407-745-0862; primroselanes.com
Want to reach out? Find me on Twitter, TikTok or Instagram @amydroo or on the OSFoodie Instagram account @orlando.foodie. Email: amthompson@orlandosentinel.com. Join the conversation at the Orlando Sentinel’s Facebook food group, Let’s Eat, Orlando.
