If you've read the New Testament, you probably know by now that Jesus is a big fan of gardens. The last place he went before his arrest was the Garden of Gethsemane. And most recently, he was spotted at the TD Garden, where the Bruins and Red Wings duked it out for Game 2 of their first-round series.
In other words, if you skipped Easter Sunday service to attend this one, you're not alone: so did the Lord.
"Jesus", in this case, is a guy named Thor, who knew just how to get invited to the game. Ask if someone had a minute for the guy that died for their sins:
Who has an extra ticket to the Bruins game on Sunday? Jesus must make his return to the garden for Easter. Please RT pic.twitter.com/Pqp4jBORyZ— Thor (@svenlylethor) April 18, 2014
Apparently, Jesus is a fan of the World Series.
Anyway, it worked.
The condition, of course, was that Thor come to the game dressed not, as his name implies, as the crown prince of Asgard, but as the Saviour of mankind. And of course he obliged.
In the first period, he was spotted on the JumboTron, blessing the hometown team, and he received the warm reception the real Jesus received early in his ministry:
But if you know the story of Jesus, you know eventually the people turn on him. That happened here as well. In the second period, Jesus was escorted out of the Garden in some horrible deja vu. To a smattering of boos.
Let us pause for a second. Bruins fans -- not all, but some -- booed Jesus. ON EASTER. Not cool, Boston. If you lose this series, you can probably point to the negative karma accrued by booing the Christ on his big day. (Additionally, you no longer get to make fun of Philadelphia for booing Santa.)
Some argue that they were booing the security guard escorting him out, although he sure doesn't seem to think so, and really, everybody knows the real way to protest Jesus being taking away would have been to cut off that guy's ear.
So what did Jesus do to get escorted out? Did he attempt to heal the sick on the Sabbath? Did he chastise the Pharisees (i.e. the Boston media) for their false righteousness?
Not to our knowledge. Looks like he tried to smoke:
Jesus is at the bruins game smoking I repeat Jesus is at the bruins game smoking #BecauseItsTheCup— Nicole Rego (@NicoleRego__) April 20, 2014
Who knows how accurate this is, but if he was, of course he was. He just went to Hell, to fight the devil for the rights to our souls. It's hot down there. It's also stressful. Sometimes you just need a cigarette.
Jesus could not be reached for comment. Or maybe he could. Who really knows if prayer works or not?
Fortunately, this is Jesus we're talking about. The man can't keep him down. In true Messianic fashion, Jesus was back for the third day -- day, in this case, being period.
You're gosh darn right he was fan of the game. At least some Bruins fans know the true meaning of Easter.