Paul Holmgren would like to kidnap Dylan Larkin, stuff him in bathroom

Paul Holmgren would like to kidnap Dylan Larkin, stuff him in bathroom

USA Hockey announced on Tuesday that it’s bringing the CCM USA Hockey All-American Top Prospects game to Philadelphia on Sept. 22, as the top U.S. hockey talents eligible for the 2017 NHL Draft will be on display.

The press conference was held hours before the Philadelphia Flyers were set to host the Detroit Red Wings in a key Eastern Conference battle. The president of the Flyers, Paul Holmgren, was one of the speakers at said press conference, and he celebrated the occasion with one of the most bizarre off-the-cuff remarks in recent memory.

After Dave Fischer of USA Hockey turned the mic over to him, Holmgren began his remarks with the following:

“I’d like to be a kidnapper right now and kidnap Dylan Larkin and stick him in a bathroom or something, at least until after the game tonight. But I’m a little late there.”

Um …

Anyway, we can report that Dylan Larkin is safely in the custody of the Detroit Red Wings ahead of their game this evening. Teams of police are sweeping the bathrooms in Wells Fargo Center, searching for small player-sized cages, just in case he goes missing.

We’ll go ahead and assume that the “or something” Holmgren was referring to was not in any way a reference to dismembering Larkin and then turning his chopped up body into Tastykakes ...

Watch the presser here:


Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.