A-Hole in One Chronicles: Vince Mancini

Hole in ones are stupid. They're dumb, lucky, ridiculous badges of honor that are more about the hole getting in the way of your bashful golf ball than you actually hitting a solid shot. And yes, I'm bitter because I don't have one. I don't. I'm part of the Two Club, and it sucks. I've played golf all my life, hit thousands upon thousands of tee shots into par-3s without once acting like a complete idiot upon result. And I've had enough of this "no, I'm good without going in today, thanks" stuff from my golf balls. I've decided until I make my first ace, I will occasionally chronicle people around the Internet that make their first ace. We are calling this the A-Hole in One Chronicles, and if you're getting this interview, I probably hate you.

First up is the man in charge of the great movie blog Film Drunk (and occasionally contributes to the website These Fries are Good). His name is Vince Mancini (you can follow him on Twitter here) and here is his ace story.

How long have you been playing golf and what is your current handicap?

I've been playing since I was 8 or 9, so over 20 years. I don't play often enough these days to maintain a handicap (probably 5-6 times a year), but I'm probably about a 6 or 7. In the 5-10 range.

Day, club, yardage, hole number, course?

January 21st, a nice, sunny MLK day at Metropolitan in Oakland - a Johnny Miller-designed links-style course that's Cal's home course. Hole #15. I was playing the blues, yardage was bout 168, with a moderately stiff breeze in my face. I hit a sort of three-quarter/punch 6-iron.

And give us a little play-by-play of what happened? Spin back in the hole? Slam dunk? Hit off the rake and go in? Go Jim Nantz on me ...

I didn't see exactly what happened. I knew I hit it right at the stick, but the hole went from sunny to shadow on the green where the pin was and I couldn't really see it from the tee. I just noticed that I couldn't really see my ball. I didn't know if it was behind the flag or rolled off the back of the green or what. The ball mark was about 4-6 inches due southwest of the hole, and the ball was pinned between the stick and the front edge of the cup. My guess is, it hit the green and was in the process of checking up pretty hard from the combination of clean punch shot, high clubhead speed, and headwind, and just sort of took one small hop right into the cup. The group in front of me saw it all and started applauding me as I got up to the green. My eyes gleamed with triumph, my loins tumescent with glory.

History says Ben Hogan never made a hole-in-one. Given the theory {golfer} + [career hole in one] > {golfer} [zero career hole in ones], do you think you're a better golfer than Ben Hogan?

Yes, I'm clearly a better golfer than Ben Hogan, and he was probably on steroids anyway. Or at least... performance-enhancing ties. I mean, I can't prove he wasn't. Actually, I'll never forget the commercial Ben Hogan was in when I was a kid where he has a voiceover about how when you hit a pure shot, you can feel the vibration travel from the clubhead up the shaft, into the grip to your hands "and into your heart." I can't respect anyone who would agree to say that line in a commercial.

How much was your drink tab after the round?

My drink tab was zero. My playing partner and the guy who was driving kept saying he had to get back to San Francisco by 6 because he had a date with his wife. That meant no drinks, no tacos (there is a really good taco truck near that course), no nothing. FYI, we got back to San Fran by 4:30. This man deserves all of the boos. Am I right or am I right?

Now that you're in the Ace club, what do you think about those pathetic people that have never made one?

Now that I'm in the Ace club, I figure those who aren't probably have weak sperm, or came from weak sperm. I mean what is the deal? I got it done, why can't you? It's probably they're just not trying very hard.

Want to be part of the A-Hole in One Chronicles? Hit me up on Twitter at @shanebacon and let me know if you've recently scored an ace. And don't lie. Then you're worse than these people.