MLB Power Rankings: Mets on the move
On Matt Holliday’s improvement, the Pirates’ strategy in the NL Central and why the Blue Jays had to be punished after their series against the Royals:
The rankings (records through Wednesday’s games):
1. St. Louis Cardinals (68-39; Previous: 1) – Cards relieved to learn Matt Holliday’s quad strain downgraded to tri strain.
2. Kansas City Royals (63-43; Previous: 2) – Umpires for Royals-Jays postseason series will be Corona girls.
3. Pittsburgh Pirates (62-44; Previous: 5) – Pirates like to think of it not as trailing the Cardinals but as drafting off them. It’s subtle.
4. Houston Astros (60-49; Previous: 6) – Gomez reveals he’s feeling very sexy in Houston. And now Orbit is feeling very self-conscious.
5. Los Angeles Dodgers (61-46; Previous: 3) – Dodgers channel Oprah at deadline: “And you get a million dollars! And you get a million dollars! And you get a million dollars!”
6. New York Yankees (60-46; Previous: 8) – Yankees sigh, go along with it, yeah, yeah, maybe it’s a Mets town now, OK.
7. San Francisco Giants (59-48; Previous: 11) – Joe Panik goes on DL. Giants try not to, um, overreact? No. Get hysterical? That’s not it. Become anxious? Nope. Goodness, word’s on the tip of their tongue.
8. Chicago Cubs (58-48; Previous: 9) – It can be difficult to predict a career arc, or what Cubs call a Soler ellipse.
9. Los Angeles Angels (57-50; Previous: 4) – Bill Stoneman thinks this GM thing is just like riding a horse, except there’s 29 other people trying to push you off the horse and into some fresh horse poop.
10. New York Mets (58-50; Previous: 13) – Wilmer Flores recovers from near-trade experience, will feel much better when Mets fans are booing him again.
11. Toronto Blue Jays (57-52; Previous: 12) – MLB decides Blue Jays should be punished for trying to hit Royals’ fastballs with their foreheads.
12. Washington Nationals (55-51; Previous: 7) – Deep down, Nats knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to tie Mets to train tracks and then just leave.
13. Baltimore Orioles (55-52; Previous: 15) – O’s considering Chris Davis Chia Pet giveaway. Just water and watch the strikeouts grow.
14. Texas Rangers (54-53; Previous: 18) – On anniversary of Robin Ventura “fight,” Nolan Ryan batted around some stray kittens.
15. Minnesota Twins (54-53; Previous: 10) – Tyler Duffey called up while team is in Toronto. Tyler Duffey leaves passport in Texas. Tyler Duffey tunnels into Canada.
16. Tampa Bay Rays (54-55; Previous: 16) – Rays are like the little brother who won’t stop following you around, if your little brother had a beard and couldn’t hit at all with runners in scoring position.
17. Arizona Diamondbacks (52-54; Previous: 22) – Wellington Castillo just tried Beef Wellington for the first time. Thought it was tastier than Jake Lamb.
18. San Diego Padres (52-56; Previous: 20) – Padres pleased to report that A.J. Preller just wandered away at deadline, but was found healthy if a little confused and very hungry.
19. Detroit Tigers (52-55; Previous: 14) – So Dave Dombrowski was “released” from his contract. Yeah, Napoleon shoulda gone with being “released” to Elba.
20. Chicago White Sox (51-55; Previous: 23) – On anniversary of Nolan Ryan “fight,” Ventura gave himself a noogie, a wedgie and a swirlie.
21. Cleveland Indians (49-58; Previous: 17) – Corey Kluber maintains Indians’ season is “not over yet,” which could be taken two ways.
22. Seattle Mariners (50-59; Previous: 25) – The M’s see organizational progress in the fact people are disappointed in their season, also claim they were distracted by song birds and rainbows.
23. Cincinnati Reds (48-57; Previous: 24) – With Johnny Cueto and Mike Leake gone, Reds rotation so young team drinks are served in little boxes.
24. Atlanta Braves (48-60; Previous: 19) – Team reports revenue is down $14 million over same period a year ago, not counting money used to help out that troubled Nigerian prince.
25. Oakland Athletics (48-61; Previous: 21) – With Tyler Clippard trade, Billy Beane also celebrated new Dr. Seuss book by playing, “What Met Should I Get?”
26. Boston Red Sox (48-60; Previous: 27) – Red Sox decide that if Pablo Sandoval slumps they’ll just have to play around him. So they’ll be back in a couple hours.
27. Colorado Rockies (45-61; Previous: 28) – Umpire trolls Rockies by calling every pitch under knees, “Too low!”
28. Milwaukee Brewers (46-63; Previous: 26) – There’s a lion loose in Milwaukee, roaming the streets and scaring the citizenry. Anybody seen Bud lately?
29. Philadelphia Phillies (42-66; Previous: 30) – Phillies are going to miss Cole Hamels, mostly the sweet notes he’d leave written on fogged mirrors in bathroom.
30. Miami Marlins (43-65; Previous: 29) – In midst of another losing season, team leaders call emergency meeting to discuss what tax payers should buy them next.
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