Saturday night's All-Star showdown provided hours of thrills, chills, and s2roizoezzeonzzzzzzz

Huh? Wha? Sorry, I fell asleep for a second there. Anyway, Kasey Kahne, voted into the race at the last second by the fans -- sort of like what's going to happen later this year when Al Gore and Flavor Flav hijack the presidential race -- started in last place and worked his way to the front to take the cheoijeoijnnmnnnnnnnnnnn

Damn! Sorry! Did it again. I'm still shaking off the effects of Saturday's All-Star "race." Sure, all the stars were there, but the race was about as much fun as watching them find parking places at a crowded mall.

The most damning statistic was this: there wasn't a single caution thrown the entire race. Think about that. Either every single on-track gamble and maneuver paid off with absolutely no repercussions -- which has never ever happened in recorded history -- or everybody decided to just use this as an impromptu testing session for this weekend's Coca-Cola 600.

(By the way, did you check out our weekly Running Wide Open talkback thread, where commenter kinggeorge probably broke several broadcasting laws by giving a running play-by-play to the audience without SPEED? No? You've got another chance next weekend, and every weekend.)

I don't think this is cause for panic, even though it spilled forth the usual torrents of "NASCAR ain't like it used to be, I'm done with this sport" sentiment. If it does stay this boring, though, they need to spice things up with more than just burnout competitions. I say, make the last-place guy in every segment do a Polish victory lap to start the next segment. That'd get some action going.

And we'd better see one hell of a race next weekend.