If you're ever feeling like you've made some bad decisions in your life, take heart: chances are you haven't done anything as monumentally stupid as teasing a one-ton-plus bull into a rage and running while it chases you. Because if you do, bad things can happen.
It's the Fiesta de San Fermin over in Spain, and that means it's time for the Running of the Bulls. Sanctified by Hemingway, this decades-old tradition usually ends with plenty of grievous injury and the occasional fatality. (Fifteen people have died in the last century.) This year, we had a new wrinkle: one bull was so enraged by a couple of bull-bros that he chased them off the streets and into a nearby river. That, friends, is one angry bull.
Now, this is a bull that gives 100 percent all the time. Derrick Rose, take notes. Chase someone into the Chicago River and nobody will give you any more grief.
More stories will trickle out over the next few days about bull-oriented insanity. Here's one: New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan is in Pamplona as well, looking fit and trim and happy to face raging beasts rather than answer more questions about Tim Tebow:
Still, Rex ought to be careful. A 44-year-old British man, John Bennett, very nearly became the first fatality at this year's running. As a lone bull charged a crew of fleeing humans, Bennett fell to the ground and ... well, let's let him tell the rest:
"I remember running and tripping over people who had fallen to the ground as the bull charged towards us. It was complete and utter chaos," he told The Telegraph. "I was crushed under people who fell on top of me. I felt my legs being twisted under me with all the weight. There was a terrifying moment when people on me were crushing my face to the ground and I couldn't breathe. A first aid person managed to grab my hand and pull me to safety under a fence. He saved my life. I was suffocating under the weight of the people I had on top of me."
-Follow Jay Busbee on Twitter at @jaybusbee.-