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Busted Racquet

Ranking the creepiness in this Indian Wells promo photograph

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Indian Wells released this composite photograph of 15 top men's players as a promotion for this week's "fifth major." The tournament is a beloved event (unless you're a Williams sister) held in an inviting locale, so it's only natural they'd release a creepy photo to hype it. Busted Racquet ranks the players in order of Photoshopped creepiness, from least to most.

Kei Nishikori (4) -- Other than the fact that he appears to have a floating head and one leg, Nishikori looks pretty normal.

Ryan Harrison (1) -- Steely eyes, yellow shirt.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (14) -- You know when you're in a group photo and have to lean in between people so you're not blocked; I think that's what Jo-Willy was going for.

Milos Raonic (3) -- Minimal creepiness.

Tomas Berdych (8) -- That's some prime placement for Berdych. Somebody in the PR offices must be Czech.

Roger Federer (9) -- I'd have preferred the white cardigan.

John Isner (7) -- Isner is at least eight inches taller than the man to his left. I'd mock the Photoshopping, but I only learned to add text yesterday. It also looks like he wants to use the racquet as a weapon, ANDY RODDICK. (Speaking of which: No Roddick in this photo?)

Fernando Verdasco (5) -- With that shirt and hair, he looks like his usual self. And therein lies the problem.

Mardy Fish (15) -- Not creepy so much as not looking at all like Mardy Fish.

David Ferrer (13) -- Hey blue steel. When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?

Andy Murray (12) -- That's a "Nick Nolte mugshot" stare.

Janko Tipsarevic (6) -- Whenever the Bond movies create a sporty villain with nearsightedness, Tipsy could be in the running for the role.

Rafael Nadal (11) -- And Rafa has a spot in the "Cape Fear" remake on lock.

Bernard Tomic (2) -- If he blended through steel bars, the Aussie would totally be the T-1000.

Novak Djokovic (10) -- The Djoker either is possessed or has a severe case of jaundice.

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