Joey Barton in his natural state: with his mouth open. (AP)
Joey Barton engaged in a lengthy war of words with himself on social media site Twitter, prompting him to challenge himself to a physical fight. The QPR midfielder currently on loan at Marseille has gained nearly two million followers on Twitter with his outspoken ways and quotes from some of history's greatest philosophers plus Morrissey. He recently had it out on the site with former Man City teammate Didi Hamann, but that exchange only proved to be a warm-up for Barton's nasty argument with himself that took place over the course of three hours on a Wednesday evening.
The spat began when Barton accidentally directed an insult intended for another Twitter user to himself. This sparked Barton, who has previously argued with his own Football Manager 2012 character, to fight back against himself. "@Joey7Barton trying to give me stick you cheeky man. Get your own life in order first... #peopleinglasshouses" he said. Seconds later he replied: "Says the 'man' who put out a lit cigar in a City youth teamer's eye during an Xmas party. Don't try to be all self righteous you blert. i know u!"
From there, Barton warned himself not to continue. "If you wanna have it out publicly. Am here all day mate. Not having idiots like you talking like u actually have a clue!" This only spurred Barton on further, though. "More to life than football, u nugget. Ur life's a car crash. #pipedown," he shot back. Barton responded: "like being a family man. Being honest. Being loyal. Being a man. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror. Can u do that?" This drew even more of Barton's ire. "What do u know about that? You went to prison for punching a teenager outside a McDonald's. Don't ever try to call me out maggot."
Finally, Barton tried to bring the battle with Barton to a close. "Before you get fully emptied out publicly, you blert. You've got my number. You know where to find me 24/7," he said. But Barton made it clear that he wasn't done yet. "Don't be getting all self righteous. If I were you i'd think twice about trying to be clever or giving ANYBODY stick." He once again fought back against his own Twitter handle with: "I'll take advice from people I respect. I won't however be told be someone I deem vastly inferior as a MAN, how to live my life. #norespect" The argument continued as Barton said, "Ruined your career and your reputation with booze and brawls. What a waste. Now do one Tourette's face! Or should we settle this off the web and in the street?"
The question went unanswered though, as Barton instead tweeted his final words on the matter to all of his followers. "Disappointed in myself for getting involved in that. But never let a dog try to tell u its not a dog an that u are! A dogs a f***ing dog..."
In related news, the concept of self-awareness continues to wiggle out of Mr. Joseph Barton's grasp.
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