Outside of states permanently leaving the country, the worst thing to emerge from the post-election secessionist movement in the U.S. is the knowledge that anyone can petition the White House for anything.
In fact, the White House has a page dedicated to such petitions, including one by the people of Texas to "withdraw from the union" and set up its own government. That petition has well over 100,000 signatures; in order to get the White House to respond to it, one only needs to garner 25,000 of them.
Sports fans, alas, have gained this knowledge. Like the Auburn fan that has petitioned President Obama to have Gene Chizik fired.
[Report: NHL season at risk]
Now, President Barack Obama has already gone on the record as urging the NHL and the NHLPA to get the lockout settled. So great is his power and influence in such matters that the sides are no closer today than three weeks ago when he made the declaration.
But reader Owen from Pittsburgh believes that the federal government could still help end the stalemate, so he's put up a petition to "have government intervene, moderate and expedite the Collective Bargaining negotiations between the NHL and NHLPA."
From the petition:
The NHL has locked out its players for the third time in two decades. This third lockout comes at the peak of the leagues popularity and profit margins. The negotiations at this time are at a standstill, with both the NHL and the NHLPA grabbing at two different ideals on how to move forward.
Obviously a neutral party needs to step up to moderate the negotiations for anything to move forward.
Economically this lockout is hurting entire cities, both Canadian and American. Arenas are losing 41+ events, forcing vendors, ushers, box office personnel, security guards, ice crews, and many more staff to unwanted nights off from work. Bars around local arenas are also hit, losing before and after crowds , as are other businesses such as: hotels, tourism boards, airports etc.
Bring Back Hockey.
"I am not saying taxpayer money should go into kickstarting the NHL, but someone in the White House will know who to call, who can solve this thing, who can moderate and get the NHL and NHLPA to concede the greed and get the game we all love back on national TV," writes Owen in an email. "As fans we are mostly helpless at this point, it's nice to have one means of productivity."
As of this posting, the petition has … well, one signature. And we'll just go ahead and assume that was Owen. But if "establish new legal system of motorcycle riding 'Judges' who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one" can earn over 200 votes, then, darn it, hockey can get its response too.
Where else to turn in a moment of complete gridlock than the federal government, right?
Support the petition here. Or don't. It probably doesn't matter.
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