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    Shutdown Corner

    Salem witches plan to give Tom Brady a spiritual lift for Tebow rematch

    By Doug Farrar | Shutdown Corner – Fri, Jan 13, 2012 4:45 PM EST

    "By the power within, and the power without..." (Getty Images)

    God may be Tim Tebow's co-pilot, but it seems that Tom Brady, the quarterback Tebow's going up against this Saturday in the divisional round of the playoffs, has some otherworldly support from an unexpected source. A group of witches (Wicca? We want to be politically correct around here) in Salem, Massachusetts (yes, that Salem, Massachusetts), planned to gather on Friday the 13th (spooky!) to try and beat the Sports Illustrated cover curse for the New England Patriots quarterback, and give him the most supernatural force possible when going up against Tebow's Denver Broncos.

    We're pretty sure we're not making this up.

    Sorceress Laurie "Lorelei" Stathopoulos said that her coven wasn't quite as successful when planning a recent spiritual intervention for Charlie Sheen (for which Mr. Sheen was not actually present), but there are better hopes this time.

    "You know, we had a hard time getting all the girls [fellow witches] to come," Lorelei told the Boston Herald of the Sheen attempt. "But when we told them this Circle was for Tom Brady, oh, everybody will be there!"

    Ah — so attendance is key. According to the  Herald, this is how it goes:

    At the 10-minute ceremony at Crow Haven Corner, the city's first witch shop, there will be an altar set up with a Brady puppet — sewn for the occasion by another local sorceress — and mojo bags filled with herbs and stones for every Patriots player.

    Lorelei said she will use the Tebow gesture and chant the following: "Tom Brady will see what he needs to see, be where he needs to be and will take the Patriots to another victory."

    The nice part is that the coven will not actually be trying to put any sort of bad juju on Tebow himself — these Magical Mystery Tourists are staying positive with this action and just helping out their main man. But to actually Tebow while doing so? Isn't that playing both ends against the middle?

    "Okay ... so what do we do about Josh McDaniels?" (Getty Images)

    "We want the true champion to come out on Saturday night," fellow broom-rider Lori Bruno told the Herald. "But since we live in Patriot Land, it's red, white and blue and make the dream come true!"

    Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who may want to talk to these folks about a consultancy (he is an outside-the-box strategic thinker, after all) could not have said it better himself.

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    • Susan
      Susan  •  Muskogee, Oklahoma  •  3 months ago
      This gives credit to witches & their craft as having more substance to victory than the skills of the athletes they're backing. Is this Tom Brady so lacking/afraid of losing that he would desire/need/seek the help of those claiming an ability to manipulate supernatural forces? Be a man & settle on your own capacity. Witches! Be big girls & let the men fight their own battles. I believe there are more grave issues threatening this world that you could focus on.
    • Starr
      Starr  •  4 months ago
      This article needs to define witch or Wiccan. Wiccan is a legitimate, recognized religion. Witches are not a part of that religion, though some witches do follow some of the Wiccan rules/laws - not all witches are practicing Wiccans. Also, neither witches nor Wiccans for the most part, believe in the Christian devil, aka Satan, aka Lucifer, the angel of the Morning. So to say that either Wiccans or witches or any other believer of another religion is going to be going to a Christian place of punishment - when they don't believe or follow the Christian religion is a bit arrogant. We are each to meet our end in our own way, our passage from this world to whatever follows is personal. What happens to one is not the same that will happen to another. Just as you believe in live, thus will you see that which you believe you will see in passage. Our lives, our actions often speak far louder than our voices when we claim a religion. It is how you live, what you do that will divine your spirit...not your claims to a belief system. Remember that actions, words have power of their own. You are molded by them.
      • ErinH
        ErinH 4 months ago
        I agree with you except for the part that Witches are not Wiccans. The title you choose when you follow Wicca is your own. It is unfortunate that some bad eggs call themselves Witches, but this is also why a lot of Witches choose to be called Wiccans. I practice Wicca and call myself a Witch and wear it proud. Plus it #$%$ my in laws off...lol jk.
      • Brown eyes
        Brown eyes 4 months ago
        You are totally deceived & deluded in your thinking, it will be too late for you when you come to the end of your life & face your Maker & haven't acknowledged Him here on earth !! I don't claim any religion, it's a RELATIONSHIP with ALMIGHTY GOD, THE FATHER, JESUS CHRIST , THE SON, & THE HOLY SPIRIT !!!! Works by themselves are DEAD, you can't work yourself into heaven, it's by God's grace, love & by the work of the cross, through faith in Jesus His son, that we all have a choice to be saved, sanctified, justified, to live eternally with God !!!
      • Nene
        Nene 4 months ago
        Brown Eyes....that is YOUR belief. Will you feel totally deceived when you come to the end of your life and find out that there isn't a "Maker" to face? Everyone has beliefs and no one knows for sure which is right, only what fulfills their life. I think the history of Salem in itself shows that people, such as yourself, need to realize that there is a peaceful spirit of resolve in followers of Wicca. There are certain religious zealots who would resort to murdering innocent people in an attempt to prove their belief is superior....well, we all know what a scar that left in history. Take a trip to Salem....
    • Go-Utes
      Go-Utes  •  Salt Lake City, Utah  •  4 months ago
      Why is this news?
      • TeaPartyForever
        TeaPartyForever 4 months ago
        It's not news. Notice how this is in a "blog" section of the website.
      • Rob
        Rob 4 months ago
        yeah thats what I was wondering
    • Steven
      Steven  •  Salt Lake City, Utah  •  4 months ago
      I had a relative who was part of the Salem witch trials back when...I wonder what she is saying about brother Tebow.
      • LisaC
        LisaC 4 months ago
        "Sack his #$%$
    • sweetness
      sweetness  •  Phoenix, Arizona  •  4 months ago
      What do they do if Denver plays the Saints in the SuperBowl? My guess is it might look a little like shutting down the 'protection grid' in Ghostbusters. Got a hankrin' for a StayPuft marshmallow. Venkman out.
    • Jo
      Jo  •  Mannford, Oklahoma  •  4 months ago
      Tom Brady is Catholic. The last I checked, he and Tim Tebow both believe in the same God. God allows each player the ability to be out on that field Saturday. I always pray that each team is protected from injury and then I cheer for my team to play their best! Go Patriots!!!
      • Abaris
        Abaris 4 months ago
        Actually Tebows brand of "Christianity" is at odds with the Catholic Church doctrinally and actually preaches it is not "real" Christianity and actively supports Catholics "converting". The reason he was a "missionary" to the Philippines was to convert Catholics to his version of protestantism...so no you are wrong in your assumption.
      • Mike
        Mike 4 months ago
        Christianity is not a religion, it is simply believing in Jesus Christ and Tim Tebow would never care about Tom being a catholic unless he doesnt believe in Jesus and nobody knows
      • james
        james 4 months ago
        Christianity is not a religion!? #$%$! Glad you cleared that up.
    • Tess
      Tess  •  4 months ago
      Sorry Football like any other game is a sport of skill, luck and varied mistakes. God and/or the Goddess have absolutely nothing to do with it, anyone who thinks that Tebow wins because some god out there is on his side because he prays is dillusional and needs medication.
      • Mike
        Mike 4 months ago
        You and the sports writers are the only ones saying this crap D C !!
      • oldbear
        oldbear 4 months ago
        Of course, the occasional "good luck" spell never hurts.
      • Linda
        Linda 4 months ago
        Well, now we know. That's cuz "Tess" is clearly an authority of both football and God. lol
    • Odell
      Odell  •  Atlanta, Georgia  •  4 months ago
      When Notre Dame plays Boston College in football and basketball, who does God cheer for? Both schools are Roman Catholic Colleges! The idea that God is for one team and not for the other team is only a valid idea among social scientists and anti-religious liberals. Every team has players who believe that God is on their side. Stop the Blogging and just watch the game!!!
    • Judie
      Judie  •  Oklahoma City, Oklahoma  •  4 months ago
      Need to set the record straight here. Witches have nothing to so with Satanism, they don't even believe in Satan. They also live by a code that says they are not allowed to harm others. Most people get their idea about witches from television and the movies, which is totally bogus. I have many friends who are witches (Wiccan) and they are lovely people, much less harmful than some Christians I know. I have been to some of their circles and they are totally innocuous. It might surprise you to know that the word witch does not appear in the original Bible manuscripts, it was ADDED by King James in the 1600's because that was the time of the inquisition and he was deathly afraid of witches. Most witches do believe in God/Goddess or a higher power, they just don't believe in all the religious crap that is totally man-made, and I have to say, I agree with them. If they want to throw their intentions behind a certain football player, more power to them!
    • Guam Guy
      Guam Guy  •  4 months ago
      ROFLMAO! This is one angle I didn't count on! Good humor!
    • Gradenko
      Gradenko  •  4 months ago
      witches??? as in Wiccans?

      i'd much rather deal with them than put up with a bunch of bigoted, hateful christians.
    • Mike
      Mike  •  Spokane, Washington  •  4 months ago
      I am 100% sure Tom Brady doesnt care about this at all and maybe will never here about it
    • paul
      paul  •  Laventille, Trinidad and Tobago  •  4 months ago
      There is another side to this equation of the occult + the media = Satan's glorification. Let's at least give the writer Doug some credit in bringing what is a common practice to the fore albeit in his ignorance. A lot of people in the music industry as well as in other spheres of endeavour either consult/engage the occult for promised supernatural empowerment. It would be good to hear Tom Brady's take on this. Let's see if he would denounce this sorcery as the Bible commands us to. Born again believers should raise their voices. Others may say why all this fuss - it's just some girls having some harmless fun. Be not deceived, Satan comes in many ways - this is called desensitization of evil strategy.
    • andrew c
      andrew c  •  4 months ago
      people need to lay off Tebow....i hate the Broncos with a passion because I am a Raider fan.....yes, I don't like Tebow ....but i don't like him because he is a Bronco and no other reason.....he is a good guy that isn't hurting anyone....the media has made this a circus, not Tebow.....the only thing I wonder though, is if he was a Muslim or followed another religion that the majority didn't agree with, then would it still be ok for him to thank his God and do his ritual kneeling if it was for someone else?.......religion should be behind closed doors.....pray to whomever you want, and as long as you are a good citizen and it isn't hurting anyone, then people should live and let live.....others pray in huddles and thank God after touchdowns, but they don't go too far like Tebow does.....even though he is still ok in my book, it would be nice if he just played football and that the media didn't accentuate every little religious kneel down or post game interview into a religious circus
    • Beth
      Beth  •  Houston, Texas  •  4 months ago
      Uh...wait, good or bad, you do NOT cast on someone without their permission. Every witch knows that. What are they thinking?

      And no, I'm not joking.
    • hegemon
      hegemon  •  4 months ago
      Tebow throws a football like he was a catcher throwing to second base LOL
    • Debbie
      Debbie  •  Edmond, Oklahoma  •  4 months ago
      Dude you really are a weirdo you know that? Certifiable! Seriously!
    • NEO
      NEO  •  Scranton, Pennsylvania  •  4 months ago
      Only in America.
    • CameronW
      CameronW  •  4 months ago
      People are freaking out of this? It's a funny fluff piece, that's it.
    • Robin
      Robin  •  4 months ago
      I really think people are assuming witches and wicans are the same thing. You can be one or the other or even both. I am a witch and a pagan but not wican. As for some code witches live by there is not one. Well unless you count common sense. Wicans do have a 3 fold be nice to all kind of code. Honestly the fact its outside their store and the picture of the women in pointy hats makes me feel its all a publicity stunt.
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