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Ball Don't Lie

Good news: That 10-foot-tall guitar painted like Steve Nash you wanted is only $10,000

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

My wife and I have lived in our apartment for just under a year now, and I think we've finally just about got it decorated the way we want it — the family photos are properly positioned, the FreeDarko and Brandon Bird prints are up, the records and tchotchkes are at long last put away in a little hutch we got from my sister ... the place feels like it's almost fully together. I can't help thinking, though, that there's something missing — that last little touch that will make this place into a home.

I mean, sure, we're missing a 10-foot fiberglass guitar that has a picture of Steve Nash in a Phoenix Suns jersey on it. But there's no way I'll be able to find one of those for sale — not in this economy.

[Lebron James switches agents to team up with longtime friend]

What's that? The devil you say!

View photo

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It's hard to put a price tag on perfection, but this auctioner has. (Photo via eBay)

Call it the luck of the Irish, I guess. And thanks to the magic of eBay, this baby can be mine for the crisp, cool price of $9,999. Let's get some details from the seller:

I purchased this guitar from purchased from the auction
GuitarMania 2005
It is on a metal rolling stand which i painted orange and purple.
the guitar weighs about 150 pounds and
the metal base is at least 150 pounds
it does swivil [sic] from side to side

this is a very cool piece of memorabilia
it has been in my collection since then
it is in great shape.

GuitarMania 2005 was apparently a charity event in Phoenix at which giant fiberglass Fenders designed and decorated by 80 celebrities, including golf lover/metal god Alice Cooper, were auctioned off to raise money for organizations like the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Central Arizona. Seems like a very cool event matching the very cool piece of memorabilia being auctioned off here.

Luckily for you, 10 stacks is a bit steep for me, even on my exorbitant blogger's salary. If you're willing and able to pay that price for this totally sick throwback collectible, then I've got good news for you — it can be yours right flippin' now ... provided you live in the Phoenix area or can come pick it up in Paradise Valley, Ariz. Just make an appointment to go see it, inspect its quality, and bring a briefcase full of bills with you, and you'll be towing home a 10-foot fiberglass guitar with the general manager of Canada Basketball painted on it faster than your wife can say, "Oh, my God, what have you done?"

If you can't go the full 10 yards, you might still be in luck — the auction does feature a "Make Offer" option, so maybe you'll be able to haggle the seller down just a bit. If I were you, though, I wouldn't throw some bunko low-ball bid out there — I can tell by the animated American flag GIFs on the seller's website that he's not to be trifled with. And based on the kicker — "STEVE WE WILL MISS YOU AS A SUNS FAN..BOO LAKERS" — it sounds like Los Angeles Lakers fans need not apply, which is a bummer for this guy, who has the most "I Will Buy A $10,000 Fiberglass Guitar" face I've ever seen.

Hat-tip to Gerard Cosloy at Can't Stop the Bleeding.

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