Yeah, uh ... never mind. The Golf Channel is reporting that Woods is going to play in the Memorial next weekend, so it can't be that bad, right? Woods is the defending champion at the Memorial — you remember, he won this one back when he was coming back from a knee injury and we couldn't imagine anything possibly could be going on behind the scenes.
So, yes, good for Tiger. But — hey, let's create some drama here — what are we to make of the fact that he's playing in Jack Nicklaus' tournament but did not play Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill tourney a couple months back? Could he be closer to the Golden Bear than Arnie, hmmmm? (Settle down, folks. This is what's known as a "joke.")
In other non-news, USA Today is reporting that Tiger is building an oxygen chamber, several pools and a practice golf course on the 12-acre property that hosts his 9,000-square-foot home in Jupiter, Fla. So, you know, good for him. *cough*Neverland*cough*
Oh, and finally, U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin said Woods isn't guaranteed a spot on the team, and will have to play his way onto the team. Woods, once he stopped laughing at the idea of having to audition for anything, called Pavin to pipe down, and Pavin immediately thanked him and put him on the team. (Portions of that last sentence may not actually be true.)
Yep, so there you go. Commence "Cheetah Woods" and "Let he who is without sin" comments in 3 ... 2... 1 ... go!