The Tiger Woods hot dog slinger speaks, clears up nothing

You know by now that somebody threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods on Sunday. No one was harmed during the incident, which occurred on the seventh green of the Frys.com Open. The meat-slinger was taken into custody on charges of disturbing the peace but released without doing any hard time. (Video above via TMZ, o'course.)

Now, thanks to the intrepid work of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat, we know who that somebody is: 31-year-old Brandon Kelly of Petaluma, Calif. Reporter Julie Johnson spoke with Kelly, and, well ...

"I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie 'Drive,'" Kelly told The Press Democrat. "As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, 'I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'"

Sure, it sounds like something goofy, but get this: There was premeditation! Johnson noted that Kelly had posted a photo of a hot dog in his hand in front of his car's steering wheel early in the morning of the tournament. Which raises multiple questions:

• Was he driving when he took the picture? 'Cause that's rather unsafe.

• Was this the dog that he threw at Woods? If so, how did he sneak it past the Frys.com security team?

• Is a hot dog his crime-scene signature? The Joker leaves playing cards; this guy tosses hot dogs?

• Who the heck has a hot dog handy at 7:15 on a Sunday morning?

• Most importantly, what is it about "Drive" that put Kelly in a dog-tossing mood?

We can take a stab at that last one; check the trailer, via Yahoo! Movies, and see if you're inspired to start throwing franks:

As Deadspin's Emma Carmichael noted, there's nary a single hot dog visible in that entire trailer, or in the movie itself, for that matter. But hey, anything with Walter White and Clay Morrow can't be all bad, and if it's inspired this joyful little story-that-keeps-on-giving, so much the better.

Oh, and Kelly wishes nothing but the best for Woods, and hopes he breaks Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 majors. That's nice.

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