August 18, 2009
What happens when people stop being polite and start being bad at football?
Given the level of media saturation that's by now second nature to the SEC, not to mention a certain division rival's forays into the genre, it was probably inevitable: Auburn is getting its own reality show.
"I think it will give our fans a true sense of what it is like on a daily basis for the coaches, players and staff as we build a foundation for this program,'' said coach Gene Chizik.
Athletics Director Jay Jacobs said the goal is "is to to look for dynamic ways to further strengthen the brand of Auburn football."
Gene Chizik looking pensive while attempting to talking himself out of awkward situations: Did the good Doctor call this one, or what? We can see the stereotyping for ready audience identification now ... Montez Billings, the mama's boy! Lee Ziemba, the heartbreaker! Ryan Pugh, the tortured artist's soul in an offensive lineman's body! Kodi Burns, the misunderstood genius who only needs to find his niche! Fourteen or fifteen guys who never learned to read! And we're pretty sure recently resurrected starting quarterback Chris Todd is actually a vampire, which ought to pull in the Twihards, because all that gothy crap is huge these days.
I must admit that I'm achingly (OK, happily) unfamiliar with the genre of American reality television, with one glorious exception: "4th and Long," the greatest show in television history, starring bona-fide American Hero Michael "STABBED A GUY" Irvin. Auburn mega-booster Bobby Lowder is no Jerry Jones (although we'd pay to see a Real World-style confessional segment from either), but if they take a page out of Spike TV's book, "Auburn Football: Every Day'' just might have a shot. (And if Chizik fulfills his natural potential and gets this program back to the staggering corruption levels of its heyday under Pat "Pants Optional" Dye, we might just have a masterpiece on our hands.)